The Standard

humour

Categories under humour

Still not sure what anything National says means?

Written By: - Date published: 7:01 am, September 28th, 2019 - 13 comments

Gerry Brownlee clarifies.

Civilian offers a bleak look at our future.

Written By: - Date published: 8:41 am, September 26th, 2019 - 13 comments

The Civilian ‘reports’ in “Trump repeatedly asked Ardern if New Zealand gives asylum very often”. Oh shit! We need to reverse National’s large donation policy and proactively and preemptively pass a law against bolthole refugees.

Trump it up

Written By: - Date published: 3:22 pm, September 12th, 2019 - Comments Off on Trump it up

Found on facebook and featuring the work of an anonymous genius …

The Civilian has a fish-hook

Written By: - Date published: 9:37 am, September 6th, 2019 - 2 comments

The Civilian is New Zealand’s pre-eminent source of online news, and indeed the purest form of news that you can consume without having an apoplectic seizure. Today they detail the course of a vaccination on live TV. Please put your hot drinks down before reading.

Labour reduces the number of cats getting stuck in trees every month

Written By: - Date published: 4:04 pm, August 17th, 2019 - 14 comments

Meanwhile, National signalled they need a hand with statistics, and the public gladly stepped up.

Simon Bridges wants a new Digital Media advisor

Written By: - Date published: 7:43 am, August 6th, 2019 - 21 comments

A slight rewrite of an ad currently on Parliament’s careers website.

Memo from Crosby Textor – fake news

Written By: - Date published: 9:06 am, August 2nd, 2019 - 19 comments

The Standard has obtained an internal memo from CTF Partners (formerly Crosby Textor) where it responds to allegations that it is a kindergarden for the rich children of Conservative Party donors, has engaged in misogynist behavior and ran anti and pro cycle astroturf campaigns to get a cycleway moved from near a client’s business premises to near an opponent’s premises.

Aussies – utterly predictable right down to the last words.

Written By: - Date published: 11:01 am, July 14th, 2019 - 30 comments

It isn’t often that I read a sports story. My view was that if you aren’t doing a sport, then what is the point in watching others doing it? Work on something that you can do. However a title on an aussie ABC article caught me – “New Zealand earn genuine respect”. Now that was unusual…

 

Clever visual satire on a millionaire beggar

Written By: - Date published: 10:15 am, July 6th, 2019 - 15 comments

Scott Marsh does a great depiction of Israel Folau’s essential ethics. Check out some of Scott’s other art as well.

Caption contest

Written By: - Date published: 3:41 pm, July 5th, 2019 - 32 comments

Keep it seemly …

Caption contest

Written By: - Date published: 10:00 am, April 16th, 2019 - 33 comments

Keep it seemly.

Caption contest

Written By: - Date published: 3:11 pm, March 8th, 2019 - 36 comments

Keep it seemly.

Caption contest

Written By: - Date published: 10:00 am, January 7th, 2019 - 74 comments

Keep it seemly …

On the first day of leakmas …

Written By: - Date published: 8:30 am, December 10th, 2018 - 46 comments

Overheard at a Press Gallery BBQ …

Caption contest

Written By: - Date published: 9:16 am, December 5th, 2018 - 34 comments

Keep it seemly.

Memo from Crosby Textor – National’s leak problem

Written By: - Date published: 7:34 am, December 5th, 2018 - 23 comments

The Standard has been leaked an internal memo from Crosby Textor to the National Party concerning its current situation.

Tweet of the year

Written By: - Date published: 8:40 am, November 13th, 2018 - 15 comments

There is still seven weeks of this year left but it appears likely that the tweet of the year has been tweeted.

Simon Bridges wants a new senior social media advisor

Written By: - Date published: 8:00 am, November 6th, 2018 - 36 comments

Simon Bridges has advertised for a Senior Social Media advisor.

Caption contest

Written By: - Date published: 12:30 pm, October 21st, 2018 - 29 comments

Keep it seemly.

Trademe advertises National List MP position for sale

Written By: - Date published: 11:58 am, October 19th, 2018 - 17 comments

Some wag on Trademe has advertised National Party list positions for sale.

Caption contest

Written By: - Date published: 5:20 pm, October 4th, 2018 - 48 comments

Keep it seemly

Caption contest

Written By: - Date published: 9:00 am, September 20th, 2018 - 61 comments

Keep it seemly …

Caption contest

Written By: - Date published: 11:59 am, July 29th, 2018 - 76 comments

Keep it seemly …

Do republicans really want to arm infants?

Written By: - Date published: 10:40 am, July 16th, 2018 - 17 comments

It appears that Sacha Baron Cohen has succeeded in getting prominent Republicans to say stupid things about arming kids.

Caption contest

Written By: - Date published: 12:21 pm, June 11th, 2018 - 38 comments

Keep it seemly.

National tags parody account in Northcote by election tweet

Written By: - Date published: 8:30 am, May 31st, 2018 - 6 comments

The difference between running a professional well organised campaign and a chaotic shambles can be slight.

#twyfordaccusations

Written By: - Date published: 12:53 pm, May 26th, 2018 - 52 comments

The Twitter hashtag #twyfordaccusations has been set up to allow people to speculate on what other nefarious allegations will be made against Phil Twyford by Judith Collins.

Doofus of the week – May 20, 2018

Written By: - Date published: 8:30 am, May 20th, 2018 - 20 comments

Aaron Schlossberg, American Attorney and Trump Supporter, and someone who thinks people speaking Spanish to each other in a New York restaurant poses some sort of existential threat to the Union is this week’s doofus of the week.

Young man there’s no need to feel down

Written By: - Date published: 8:11 am, May 14th, 2018 - 248 comments

The person in control of Christchurch Stadium’s PA system has performed the most outstanding burn on Israel Folau’s homophobic beliefs.

Nearly time for the Bionic Beaver

Written By: - Date published: 12:18 pm, May 5th, 2018 - 10 comments

Like everyone these days, I live in a range of widespread cultures. There are always interesting shock effects when one culture runs into another. Like the Bionic Beaver…

Freedom of Speech and Expression

Written By: - Date published: 10:14 am, April 24th, 2018 - 47 comments

Bollocks and bullshit lands on shits and giggles.