Caption contest

Written By: notices and features - Date published: - 43 comments
Categories: caption contest, humour, The Standard

Keep it seemly.

43 comments on “Caption contest”

Comment numbers have changed to permanent references. Older quoted numbers may no longer identify the same comment.

    2. 9.2

      The bloke on the right doesn't look like he's got it…… The bloke on the left is remembering how he sold ten ghost bridges to the people in Northland. They didn't get them either.

  10. 10

    "You can smile about a Tory victory, but I have no clue what to do…… And, you ask why do I stand with my hands behind my back, well in the next five years that's where the main opposition attacks from."

  13. 13

    "So, about that safe seat – still a million euros?"

    "Pounds you antipodean pondscum, pounds".

    "Damn it, I've only got yuan."

  15. 15

    Perky New Zealander pushing upwards on the make. World-weary, cynical UK toff considering Mike Hosking's head and deciding it's a hairdon't.

  19. 19

    Two men called Lend and Hope. Otherwise known as, artificially created demand since at least the 1980s and the global economy is still on life support and starting to convulse again.

    The tories started it all, let them finish it.

  20. 20

    When they were young one learnt to keep his pocket money safe and the other went to a school with a fagging tradition.

  23. 23

    Dress fails for the fastidious man about town #1

    Wearing a tie at an incorrect length. Ideally, the tip of your tie should end in the middle of your belt buckle or waistband.

    Dress fails #2

    Conventional wisdom states that you always button your suit jacket. When in doubt, you should always fasten your suit jacket, except when seated.

    Dress fails #3.

    Suit coat pocket flaps are never worn part in, part out.

    1. 23.1

      Dress fails #4. – Don't put your hands in trouser or jacket pockets, it makes them sag and out-of-line.

      Note: about #2 – An exception to the rule – for politicians. Don't button your expensive suit jacket and the proles think of you as matey, easy-going and one of them; you don't appear to be the toffy-nosed middle-class twit you are who would sell his or her grandmother's house under them for personal profit.

      1. 23.1.1

        But wear a tie, or else they'll think you are a hard-working CEO, and not a politician. If you want to look casual, then a pair of jeans with brown shoes and shirt worn outside covering the waist-line is de rigeur.

  24. 24

    When you have the Fourth Estate on your side, you can win an election with your hands tied behind your back.

    Hah! I’ve got the Press in my pocket and I tweet like Don.

  29. 29

    Bridges in the NZH today quoted saying kiwis will be voting for the same things UK voters did. What

    to leave Europe?

    to re-elect the government?

    to oust unpopular opposition leaders?

    to reject opposition parties?

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