Caption contest

Written By: notices and features - Date published: - 48 comments
Categories: caption contest, humour

48 comments on “Caption contest”

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  3. 3

    Its the mad Dr Fenklestein getting his reading from a fortune cookie…and that isn’t a smile hes wearing ,… its the all pervading sense of nausea and impending doom from the ‘fortune’ hes been delivered that’s forming a grimace on his face…

  4. 4

    “My presence here is a good news story that has ABSOLUTELY NOTHING TO DO WITH THE LEAK INQUIRY, LEAK! LEAK! LEAK! and I sure hope you guys focus on my visit to this wonderful business AND NOT THE LEAKS COMING FROM MY CAUCUS LIKE A DEPTH-CHARGING SCENE IN DAS BOOT! YES THERE’S BEEN A LEAK ABOUT THE LEAK INQUIRY BUT THIS IS SMALL NEWS, STOP TALKING ABOUT THE LEAKS, YOU BASTARDS!!! These goods are precisely baked WHEREAS ALL THE LEAKS ARE HALF-BAKED and they all look really yummy. Have I distracted you from the LEAKS? Travel expenses for this visit came out of my parliamentary services budget AND WILL PROBABLY BE LEAKED”

  7. 7

    Do you know the leakin’ man? The leakin’ man, the leakin’ man.
    Do you know the leakin’ man who works in parliament?

    Yes, I know the leakin’ man. The leakin’ man, the leakin’ man.
    Oh, yes, I know the leakin’ man, who works in parliament.

    Then two of us know the leakin’ man, the leakin’ man.

    …

  8. 8

    “I maybe a bit of a downer as a party leader and look silly in this hat, but at least I know what a GDP is”

    1. 9.1

      Meanwhile , as Simon generously places the muffin into the dog bowl, he carelessly forgets that it was Judith who was his mentor,… and the adage ‘ don’t bite the hand that feeds you’….

  10. 10

    “And I’ll be happy to see those nice young men
    In their clean white coats
    And they’re coming to take me away ha-haaa……………”

    1. 12.1

      … And yet while being attracted to the sense of camaraderie and elitist company , found that the colour of the Black Sun was not particularly to his liking , nor was spending long nights at 3am performing strange rituals in drafty castles in Bavaria… and the gnawing sense that back home,… he was being perused for his travel expenses…

    1. 14.1

      ….’ However, as Soimon was soon to find out,… that his choice of cotton based clothing instead of wet weather gear was no defense against the onslaught of leaked material that was soon to assault him ”…

  16. 16

    Yes, we ate pies. My friends and I, the boys and girls. Yes, we ate pies. I liked pies. Still like pies. We ate pies,

  19. 19

    New headgear for National party supporters. The amount of times they have to wash themselves to relieve guilt means permanent shower caps!

    1. 21.1

      …’ And yet , in true industrial cunning ,…while doing that , – also introduces a new line of production and labels it the ‘Blue Dragon’ muffin to capture the foreign markets ‘….

  22. 22

    Contamination of food items by fecal matter believed to be from the feces of a male bull at NZ factory still a mystery.
    Meanwhile, this picture was leaked from National that was taken in the factory premises on the same day as the fecal matter contamination occurred.

  23. 23

    Simon Bridges launches the new line of National Party Muffins
    a delicious BLUE berry muffin

    watch out for the upcoming launch of its range of soups, including Leak Soup

  24. 24

    Bridges says
    Question: “What does this high bran muffin and me have in common?”
    Answer: “We both irritate the shit out of you”

  25. 25

    Man forms special bond with pie

    ….

    If I thought jami lees problems were embarrassing, how embarrassing am I

    ………

    Simon shouts the National caucus lunch but no one turns up…..

    Gee I have to admit I feel a bit mean writing this

  26. 26

    If you give a Gnat a meat pie
    He will want tomato sauce on it
    And that and gravy leaks
    will mean he needs to take a bath.

    If you lend him your rubber duck
    he’ll get homesick
    and if he finds your tap shoes
    while he’s going through your cupboards
    he’ll want to dance like with the stars

    cos that’s how Gnat careers progress
    through tragedy to farce.

    (apologies to Laura Numeroff )

  27. 27

    Getting muffins for mike hoskings, he done a,couple of bad items on me this week, and now he has gone and done two good ones on labour we have to get him back
    like John a cup of tea right place in the works woners

  28. 28

    Simon’s solution for dissenting MPs and voters from the left after he had an epiphany watching Soylent Green on his mobile.

  30. 30

    Simon going through the process of being assessed at his application interview for his suitability of a new job.

    He was asked to state what the item is he is holding in his hand. He failed!

  32. 32

    The caucus told me not to think out loud or put my foot in it.

    And then said if I wore these I could eat the last cookie.

  35. 35

    Take for instance, Gareth Morgan and ‘is pie shop
    Business never better, using only pussycats and toast
    And a pussy’s good for maybe six or seven at the most.

    Poppin’ pussies into pies! Wouldn’t do in my shop!
    Just the thought of it’s enough to make you sick!
    And I’m telling you them pussycats is quick.
    No denying times is hard.

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