Caption contest

Written By: notices and features - Date published: - 76 comments
Categories: caption contest, john key, Simon Bridges, uncategorized

Simon BRidges John Key John Howard

Keep it seemly …

76 comments on “Caption contest”

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  3. 3

    The Gree Dees – greatest hits – how deep is your depravity, tragedy part 43, staying a slime, im really a joke, and of course the big favorite – lonely dazed, lonely tight when am I gonna get my money…

    1. 4.1

      “The Protocols of the Elders of Simon”? Think I saw that in a conspiracy nutter’s bookcase once.

  9. 9

    “Thanks to the vile necromantic arts of John Key and his young apprentice Simon Bridges, the National Party Conference was graced by the reanimated corpse of John Howard.”

        1. 17.1.1.1

          The top cast for Sir Peter’s next movie has been decided with the approval of the Actors Guild? Not so much need for Weta Studios this time 😉

  19. 19

    OMG, the resurrection of Larry, Moe and Curly. Sad the lengths Natz will go to make itself seem a viable alternative to government!

    1. 21.1

      That’s really funny, Tricledown!
      What!? Just noticed it’s “drown”, not “down”.
      Apologies.

  24. 24

    Blood Sucking Zombies from Hell….Now playing in a country near you…even one little taste of the housing market will turn into one of their mindless minions!

          1. 24.1.1.1.1

            …she tucks her pony-tail into her collar as the 2 Johns slide their bottoms across the soft leather of a booth. Simon shakes hands with a ‘Say Cheese’ smile, orders a Shandy for himself and cocktails for the right pair of Johns. Mr Howard ordered a ‘Snowball in Hell’ and Key asked Simon to get him an Inspiration Wasteland on the rocks.’

              1. 24.1.1.1.1.1.1

                The barmaid thanked Simon for his tip and slid the coin into the video jukebox. A fan of early Clint Eastwood movies and choral music she selected the theme/trailer of an old movie called Kelly’s Heroes.

                1. 24.1.1.1.1.1.1.1

                  Key casts a dark glance at his conspiracy fellows, checks for hidden mikes in the pepper & salt shakers, and opens the conversation: “I’ve got some dirt in my top drawer that will change our fortunes. What I’m saying is that with a bit of help from our friends in the MSM we’re on the brink of something exceptional”. Simon lets escape a deep sigh of relief that sounds more like rumbling flatulence, which attracts the attention of some other dodgy characters hidden in the dark shadows of the bar: “Thank you Sir John, I was getting a little concerned about my lack of popularity”. Key, making a throat slitting gesture, hushes Simon “Zip it sweetie, John and I are having a conversation. You need to learn to respect your elders”.

                    1. 24.1.1.1.1.1.1.1.1.1

                      It says “[k]eep it seemly …” at the top of the post so here goes:

                      Key, after a long gulp from his Inspiration Wasteland and lowering his voice with a slight slurring of his words: “I have it on good authority that all Ministers of Finance fiddle while Rome burns. Tell me, have you fed your chickens lately? It is a question that every PM and aspiring PM gets asked. You’ll need to be prepared with a wise-cracking answer or you’re gone by lunch time. Don will see to it.” Simon lets rip an even louder sigh of relief that unsettles other punters in the shadows and some rustling noises can be heard. John and John smile at each other, knowingly, and nod; the GCSB is in the bar doing important reconnaissance work on unsuspecting innocent law-abiding citizens minding their own business and trying to have a quiet beer in the bar.

  33. 33

    Introducing “National” the stage show. Bringing to life past elections wins that never existed – 1817, 1917 and 2017.

    What the critics say,

    “Jesus Christ Superstar meets dead Cats”

  37. 37

    So a seat warmer, a racist and, a has been walk into a bar.
    They all hit their heads on it and fall over as that bar was their moral bar and it was extremely low.

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