Written By: - Date published: 1:40 pm, July 15th, 2012 - 15 comments
The Government announced that it was withdrawing its Alcohol Reform Bill today and introducing prohibition after it realised that alcohol was used by the ‘Beast of Blenheim’ to stupefy young girls. “It’s what we’d do if it was any other drug, particularly as it’s associated with the ‘Beast of Blenheim’,” said Justice Minister Judith Collins.
Written By: - Date published: 10:25 am, July 8th, 2012 - 29 comments
With news that there are now more Kiwis living in Australia than either Christchurch or Wellington, here’s “John Key’s” latest press release on the topic.
Written By: - Date published: 12:07 pm, July 6th, 2012 - 12 comments
A very funny response from the Greens to Key’s complaint that they’re always asking for inquiries: “The Greens have been criticised by Prime Minister John Key, who said, ‘The Greens call for an inquiry on virtually anything.’ The remark prompted immediate calls from the Green Party for an inquiry, which would focus on why the Greens call for so many inquiries.”
Written By: - Date published: 2:29 pm, July 5th, 2012 - 11 comments
What do our leaders in parliament have to say about the latest developments at the Large Hadron Collider?
Written By: - Date published: 2:24 pm, June 22nd, 2012 - 3 comments
Scott exhorts us all to just get along. If we could just love each other and the Dear Leader, wouldn’t things be better?
Written By: - Date published: 1:48 pm, June 11th, 2012 - 9 comments
New Zealand has been enjoying a long period of uninterrupted sunlight, and this looks likely to continue until at least 2014. The abundance of light can be attributed to prudent and sensible economic management by government, and the implementation of sound fiscal and monetary policies.
Written By: - Date published: 10:07 am, June 2nd, 2012 - 15 comments
Hekia Parata this week became the fourth minister in three months to see her career reduced to tatters. Looks like she’s planning a change.
Written By: - Date published: 9:53 am, May 30th, 2012 - 149 comments
Winston Peters is on the attack over Tariana Turia’s slush fund again. This time, Turia and John Key find themselves defending a $60,000 grant to a rugby club to investigate “undertake whanau development research”, on the spurious grounds that ‘the old way doesn’t work, this is something new, so let’s try it’. In that spirit, I have a proposition for Mr Key.
Written By: - Date published: 2:31 pm, May 25th, 2012 - 5 comments
Budget is a sluggish student who shows no enthusiasm or energy, and must be coaxed into making even the tiniest effort. His attitude is all wrong. He is something of a braggart, repeatedly telling all of his peers how fast he is, even though when challenged to a race he always finds an excuse to back out.
Written By: - Date published: 6:54 pm, May 22nd, 2012 - Comments Off on ImperatorFish: Take Your Medicine
Scott at Imperator Fish has kindly given us permission to syndicate posts from his blog – the original of this post is here.
You’ve probably heard a lot about the National government’s austerity measures, and I know you’re probably worrying whether this belt-tightening is really worth it.
Written By: - Date published: 6:07 pm, May 21st, 2012 - 1 comment
Scott at Imperator Fish has kindly given us permission to syndicate posts from his blog – the original of this post is here.
A guest post from the Finance Minister.
Written By: - Date published: 3:46 pm, May 18th, 2012 - 8 comments
Scott at Imperator Fish has kindly given us permission to syndicate posts from his blog – the original of this post is here.
Friday afternoon fun: Trevor Mallard becomes a Wiggle.
Written By: - Date published: 11:46 am, May 17th, 2012 - 10 comments
In a surprising pre-Budget u-turn, Prime Minister John Key has announced the Government will drop its policy of incrementally introducing performance pay for teachers and, instead, introduce it for ministers. “Listening to Hekia Parata fluff her way through her spin lines on the teacher cuts, I had a kind of epiphany” said Key. “Any fool […]
Written By: - Date published: 12:21 pm, May 9th, 2012 - 15 comments
The Government’s ‘sinking lid’ on homicides means that John Key can personally garotte 3-5 enemies and the overall number of killings will still decrease, a smiling Prime Minister told journalists today. “On current trends, the number of murders is dropping by half a dozen a year. Which means no-one should mind if I bump off a few annoying arseholes” said Mr Key
Written By: - Date published: 9:09 am, May 7th, 2012 - 48 comments
Amnesia is a song about the John Banks donation saga in New Zealand – from “MrKimDotcom” on YouTube. Help it go viral…
Written By: - Date published: 3:33 pm, April 30th, 2012 - 50 comments
Scott at Imperator Fish has kindly given us permission to syndicate posts from his blog – the original of this post is here.
On Sunday morning I made it clear to Paul Holmes on TVNZ’s Q&A current affairs show that I didn’t come up the river on a cabbage boat. I am aware that a number of my enemies are trying to catch me out, so in order to “front-foot” this matter I am making the following statement…
Written By: - Date published: 2:42 pm, April 24th, 2012 - 3 comments
Scott at Imperator Fish has kindly given us permission to syndicate posts from his blog – the original of this post is here.
A bitter fight has erupted within the ACT Party over the decision by leader John Banks to vote against keeping the alcohol purchasing age at 18.
Written By: - Date published: 9:58 am, April 22nd, 2012 - 41 comments
Behold the economic genius of John Key.
Written By: - Date published: 3:25 pm, April 20th, 2012 - 11 comments
Scott at Imperator Fish has kindly given us permission to syndicate posts from his blog – the original of this post is here.
Scott organises a guest column from JK about the fabulous deal with award winning entertainment venue Sky City.
Written By: - Date published: 2:06 pm, April 12th, 2012 - 26 comments
Scott at Imperator Fish has kindly given us permission to syndicate posts from his blog – the original of this post is here.
Written By: - Date published: 2:00 pm, April 6th, 2012 - 33 comments
Here’s a puzzle for Friday…
Written By: - Date published: 2:54 pm, April 3rd, 2012 - 8 comments
Scott at Imperator Fish has kindly given us permission to syndicate posts from his blog – the original of this post is here.
A predicted massive hike in legal costs to the Crown has forced Treasury to take another look at the Government’s accounts.
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