Caption Contest

Written By: notices and features - Date published: - 60 comments
Categories: caption contest, john key

h/t deuto

60 comments on “Caption Contest”

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  3. 3

    .

    ♪ ♫ . . . Nobody loves me
    Everybody hates me
    Going to the garden to eat worms
    Long thin slimy ones
    Short fat juicy ones
    Gooey, gooey, gooey, gooey, worms . . . ♫ ♪

  7. 7

    “I know Crosby-Textor keep telling me I need to get rid of this horrible guilty look but I can’t help it because everywhere I go I keep thinking people can see right through me. It’s really weird.”

  8. 8

    My government has started to rot
    So I will take it outside with a League Table spade
    And finally bury it

  11. 11

    shit…they’re beginning to catch onto my ‘rebuilding’ rhetoric…I could do with another quake

  17. 17

    “I’ll be positive until the day they drag me out.”

    NZ Listener June 23 – 29 2012 Issue 3763 Cover Story – PM Under Pressure

  22. 22

    7% of kiwis will get to invest in power companies they already own.
    The question you’ve gotta ask yourself is: do I feel lucky?”
    Well do ya, punk?

  23. 23

    They gave me a blue hard-hat but how come my right ear is turning red; Help! Labour have put a curse on me.

    Witnessing the “smiling assassin” turn into the “unhappy fugitive”….priceless, and bloody expensive.

    I’ve met the Queen and her lot a couple of times now, I think it’s time I adopt the condescending scowl too, I’m practically a royal you know!

  25. 25

    If I squint enough they all look like the little people I conned everyone into thinking I will look after.

    ‘heavy sigh’ when’s my next hawaii appointment.

  28. 28

    No Xmas for John Key.

    apologies to M.E.S

    PS – it occurs to me that there is an anti-Semitic interpretation of this caption. Fuck racism.

  32. 32

    “Ingratitude, thou marble-hearted fiend,
    More hideous, when thou show’st thee in a child
    Than the sea-monster!” WS again. King Lear is full of captions for this photo.

  35. 35

    Yeah I know my neolib drug habit has destroyed my looks, but once I’ve sold NZ off to my mates and I need a new identity I’ll get some work done by a surgeon in Los Angeles.

  36. 36

    I got Warners that deal – I audition for leading Orc – I find out they have fucked off to Aussie!

  37. 37

    The defendant in the theft of NZ court case attempts to appear remorseful.

    The penny drops with Key that Brownlee is no good at woodwork either, he then decides to sack all technology teachers as revenge.

    Parata called me a rockstar, so I started doing drugs, now I look like Keith Richards. (sorry Keith)

    It’s not fair! I wanted to be the man that sold the world, not just a few small islands.

  38. 38

    I’ll need more that this hard hat when the plebs (is that what I can smell?) wake up to what I am up to with their assets and country.

  40. 40

    ‘Well i’m nearly finished f—-n nz thats what my bosses told me to do at imf and goldman sachs,meryll lynch,bankers trust,it didnt quite work in the 80’s,i got a phone call,now i cant
    believe i have got such a great free ride and so much power i feel drunk.
    Who are you?
    Reply
    “The devil”

    1. 43.1

      Your mention of a few millions, M, called to mind the Woody Guthrie song.

      “I don’t want your millions, Mister,
      I don’t want your diamond ring.
      All I want is the right to live, Mister,
      Give me back my job again.

      Now, I don’t want your Rolls-Royce, Mister,
      I don’t want your *Rolex watch.
      All I want’s just food for my babies,
      Give me back that job I got.

      We worked to build this country, Mister,
      While you enjoyed a life of ease.
      You’ve stolen all that we built, Mister,
      Now our hungry children they starve and freeze.

      Think me dumb if you wish, Mister,
      Call me green, or blue, or red.
      This one thing I sure know, Mister,
      My hungry babies must be fed.”

      * my change to lyrics here.

  44. 44

    I can’t wait to get back to Hawaihi, away from this bunch of assholes, and that is my lot too, not to mention the great unwashed…

  50. 50

    Oh dear, he’s Lord Percy.

    JK: After literally an hour’s ceaseless searching, I have succeeded in creating gold, pure gold.

    Lord Ashcroft: Are you sure?

    JK: Yes, my lord. Behold.

    Lord Ashcroft: John… it’s green.

    JK: That’s right, my lord.

    Lord Ashcroft: Yes, John, I don’t want to be pedantic or anything, but the colour of gold is gold. That’s why it’s called gold. What you have discovered, if it has a name, is ‘green’.

    JK: Oh, Lord Ashcroft, can it be true, that I hold here in my mortal hand a nugget of purest green?

    Lord Ashcroft: Indeed you do, John, except, of course, it’s not really a nugget, it’s more of a splat.

    JK: Well, yes, a splat today… but tomorrow — who knows, or dares to dream?

  53. 53

    Ha! This is how to look tough Shearer.Hard hat,check,hi vis jacket,check.The b—–s wouldn’t give me my own clipboard, something to do with commercial sensitivity.Now, where’s my ukelele. All together now, Way Down upon the Swanee River.

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