To be fair they probably don’t have much experience with spades

Written By: notices and features - Date published: - 87 comments
Categories: humour, Minister for Photo-ops - Tags: , ,

key-adams-spade-fail

Later: “We look like a bunch of muppets.” Key unhappy the holes weren’t pre-dug at Mangawhai Heads.

87 comments on “To be fair they probably don’t have much experience with spades”

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  1. 1

    A bit Un-kiwi to not be able to thrust a spade into soil? That’s the trouble with professional politicians. Fairyland.

    2. 1.2

      Look at any group of ‘workers’and you have a number standing and watching while one of them operates a machine to do the job required.
      Funny comment from the farmer ordered off his farm because of a natural dam yesterday “nothing ten men with shovels couldn’t fix” Yeah Right !

      1. 6.1.1

        A decent spade has to be sharp, have a decent amount of weight and the blade has to have a bit of thickness to it.

        A lot of guys actually chop off about a 1/3 of the blade off to cut down on on the amount of flex.

          1. 6.1.1.1.1

            I remember talking to this fencing contractor, he made his own spades.

            He’d go around the second hand shops finding the old spades because they’re a bit thicker than the new ones, cut about as third off the blade, chop the handle off and then weld on about a 2 metre bit of pipe to give to some serious weight.

            He gave me a demonstration, all you had to do was throw it at the ground like a spear and it could cut through the some seriously hard ground with very little effort.

            I upgraded after that.

              1. 6.1.1.1.1.1.1

                The correct tool for the PMs ability is a pick axe, add a nail gun and guid wire. Who ever organises this clown show should be quietly congratulated

              2. 6.1.1.1.1.1.2

                Oh Kevin…….approaching retirement I find BM’s contribution quite interesting. Can’t see myself on “Last of the Summer Wine” terms with the bloke though……..were it to be I know whom he’d be. Hint: cheesecutter in tweed.

        2. 6.1.1.2

          Exactly I still have my dads spade which he used as a linesman in the ’30’s in those days they dug the poles in by hand.
          I used it for fencing – especially good for strainers.

      1. 6.2.1

        Fuck off, I spent years on a spade, I know how to use one.

        You on the other hand would be a complete and utter soft cock who’d fade after 5 mins or would pack it in because your hands got a bit tender..

        1. 6.2.1.1

          What’s the old line? – if you don’t get blisters, you’re not working hard enough. If you do get blisters, this is the first work you’ve done in your life, lol

          1. 6.2.1.1.1

            Yeah something like that.

            Having said that I don’t consider manual work to be “real work”, big problem in NZ is the little value people put on any work that involves using your brain.

            1. 6.2.1.1.1.1

              Thats your problem right there – digging is good honest hard work and anyone who says different just doesnt get it. For instance when diggibg a trench i often contemplate the people who went to war and had to dig them to survive!

              2. 6.2.1.1.1.1.2

                digging is good honest hard work and anyone who says different just doesnt get it.

                Nope. It’s a chore that can be better done by a machine.

            2. 6.2.1.1.1.2

              It’s never “real work” until you find someone who can do it really well, or you find someone who fucks it up badly, lol.

              applies to everything from manual labour to lawyering. 90% of the time everything potters along okay, but then one suddenly discovers the value of having someone decent at the job either through cockup or suprising brilliance.

            3. 6.2.1.1.1.3

              Good point. Years ago I watched an episode of Neighbours (one of the few times I ever have) and there was that guy with the long curly blond hair (who was in the show forever) who was standing there holding a broom and thinking, and another guy with him who said something like “Come on, let’s get working”. The blonde guy said “I am working”.

          2. 6.2.1.1.2

            At the age of 15, on my first day in the pine forests on the blunt end of a slasher, I developed 13 blisters on my hands – I remember clearly, and had to dig deep to keep going the next day, and the next, and the next. First seriously physical job, that. BM’s got it right about spades – the old metal is weighted right, takes and keeps an edge. I too grind the blade down and sharpen with a file and a stone. Razor-on-a-stick, mind your toes!

            1. 6.2.1.1.2.1

              Surprising how many people don’t realise you need to keep your spade sharp for it to be effective.

              I’d say those spades Key and co were given had about as much sharpness as a mango slice.

              2. 6.2.1.1.2.1.2

                Thanks for the tip. I’d never thought of that. All politics aside, you really do seem to know what you are talking about when it comes to using a spade.

              1. 6.2.1.2.1.1.1

                Gravel is easy to shovel. Hard pack is where you need the spade to break it up so that you can then shovel it.

                Never dig with a spade.

                  2. 6.2.1.2.1.1.1.1.2

                    “grubber or pick axe”

                    Depends what you’re digging for, doesn’t it? Sometimes a long crow bar (using the pointy end) is a lot safer, with more control, than flailing away with a grubber or pick axe.

                    Of course, if you don’t mind repairing the holes in the alkathene, or explaining to the lines company just how you blew everyone’s power – no probs, eh?

                    Slow and steady and – brain on.

          1. 6.2.1.4.1

            Never dug a grave but I used to do paving work which involved a lot of hand dig outs.

            I remember one job, 80m2 dug out by hand over 10 cubic meters then followed by another 6m2 of pap 5 brought back in to form the base course, couple more cube of sand then the pavers.

            I was quite a bit fitter back then.

          2. 6.2.1.4.2

            Never dug a grave. Dug plenty of pits for working in about that size though. Always a PITA digging around the cables.

          3. 6.2.1.4.3

            Never dug a grave – big job. We sometimes name the gold holes – the swimming pool, the crater and so on – moving a bit, of cubic metres by hand, usually and often rocky with gravel and the beautiful sound of the river and scrunch of the shovel, ahhhh I love my hobby.

            1. 6.2.1.4.3.1

              You ain’t lived until you’ve been out in the hills digging holes. On site at seven, fed by eight and set out with shovel, digging bar, litres of water frozen in plastic milk bottles and a radio to listen to the cricket.

              Depending on terrain, pole size, and span each gang member had x number of holes to dig and because poles were helicoptered in and erected by hand a tight fit was required so holes were usually 6/800mm2 + step x 1.8 – 2 metres deep.

              Oddly enough for such laborious work, unlike bog standard town jobs and trenching, time flew and you’d be done by three and after a swim on the way, home by five.

              1. 6.2.1.4.3.1.1

                I’ve done mountains of hand digging, in order of difficulty hard to go past the volcanic stuff around mount eden, rotten rock in welly and lastly river flats around Upper Hutt where there is 20cm of silt then layer after layer of river boulder.
                Give me clay any day.
                I’ve got half a dozen old spades I’ve customized with different sized heads and handles each suited to a slightly.different job and a couple of newer fencing spades which are strong enough to use as levers.
                Something strangely cathartic about digging a large hole wit the right tool…

    1. 11.1

      Hadn’t noticed that- I am a right foot kicker but I dig with the left leg, right handed but I chop left handed and fight as a southpaw- really untrustworthy……..

      Anyway, I’m very happy with a shovel in my hand, preparing for potatoes. I put it down to the Irish heritage.

      At university I had a holiday job as a coal trimmer- used to empty three 12 ton wagons in a shift. The bad days were when, luckily rarely, the hopper feed system failed and an entire tyre factory depended upon the steam generated by my ability to throw coal from a barrow 3 metres up into the hopper of the furnace.

      Norm Kirk used to be a stationary engine driver in the same boiler house, but before my time.

    1. 12.1

      “Sod-turning!”. That’s the ugly hysteria much disseminated by loonies at the time of homosexual law reform. How wrong they were ! And they’ve never apologised. Just rushed off to their next dirty thought !

  13. 13

    I heard that a sod was being turned up North but neither the coverage on tv and here doesn’t show him turning at all.

  17. 17

    “To be fair they probably don’t have much experience with spades”

    With the amount of shit they shovel one would expect they are well experienced.

      1. 20.1.1

        Key is more likely to hurt himself with a chainsaw than anybody else.

        Safer for the country if he’s busy doing that rather than selling public assets or doing sly deals with big corporations

  26. 26

    I have to say I have been heartened and impressed by the good commenters on this post describing how they shovel and spade. BLOODY GOOD!!! I say (even you BM and your ability to be baited), this gives me a lot of hope for the future – thank you everyone especially dickheadkey showing what a non he is.

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