Key the “statesman” strikes again

Written By: notices and features - Date published: - 71 comments
Categories: iraq, Minister for International Embarrassment, war - Tags: , ,

https://twitter.com/keith_ng/status/588156014186246144

https://twitter.com/LI_politico/status/588176119268044800

https://twitter.com/LI_politico/status/588171772509446144

71 comments on “Key the “statesman” strikes again”

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  1. 1

    Love these! Funniest tweets posted on this site I can remember. Good to see John Key caricatured in a more expressionist style.

  3. 3

    Watershitdown
    ‏@watershitdown

    @LI_politico @Dovil All John Key knows is ISIS spelt backwards is SISI and he ain’t never backing down to Sissies. #PROUDTOBEAMAAAHNNNPM

    Watershitdown
    ‏@watershitdown

    John Key can’t recall ISIS leader name as he’s not in entertainment…..

    1. 3.1

      No ! Churchill deliberately mangled the name of the Austrian…..'”Hissler” he called him or something like that. This gauche arse didn’t even plan it…..

    2. 3.2

      With some tentativeness I tell you this……a friend of mine in Auckland……not NZ born but lived here for decades, recently remarked – “Uno……I tink tat Mitta Gey’s a pit ov a kirl ! OK…..slash away at me for being amused at the “kirl” thing……but shit it was funny ! He might have said “effete” and no one would blinked…… or belly-laughed.

        1. 5.1.1.1

          Are you seriously comparing John Key to the people involved with IS?

          I suggest you need a values reality check if you are.

              1. 5.1.1.1.1.1.1

                Banks along with Governments directly and indirectly murder maim and impoverish hundreds of millions of people

                They also destroy the environment directly and indirectly

                Q. Can you guess which two ‘institutions’ Key represents ?

                1. 5.1.1.1.1.1.2.1

                  No, he is deliberately twisting stuff to avoid addressing the appalling gaffe and disinterest of our PM in things he ought to know very well. Remember, he doesn’t like everything the Nats do, but it is better than having a Left Government. He also doesn’t support everything the Nats do but votes for a party he knows will go along with it. I hope this clarifies it for you felix? I don’t want you fretting

          3. 5.1.1.1.3

            I’m saying that Key needs no assistance in being able to dehumanize people. He does it frequently. But maybe you are so insensitized that you are unaware of his poor behaviour.

  7. 7

    Amzingly, Key still did better than the Australian Defense Minister who:

    was unable to name the head of Islamic State, just hours after committing Australian troops to a two-year training mission to help Iraqi forces defeat the extremist group…

    “There’s a cadre of leaders in the Isil forces and we’re not just dealing with one organisation. There’s fluidity between organisations and individuals who are involved,” Andrews said…

    When pressed on the issue, Andrews replied that he would not comment on operational matters.

    “I don’t think it’s operational. I think it’s a matter of public record,” [TV show] 730 host Leigh Sales fired back.

    http://www.theguardian.com/australia-news/2015/apr/14/defence-minister-kevin-andrews-fails-to-name-isis-leader-troops-sent-to-fight

    [edit I see that was already in the stuff link]

  9. 9

    So, to recap: John Key is sending soldiers (we can’t identify) into an area (roughly outlined) for a length of time (we’re not clear on) to train soldiers (whose loyalty we don’t know) to fight (alongside allies we don’t trust) an enemy (that is loosely defined) led by a person (whose name he doesn’t remember).

    Sounds legit. /sarc

    3. 9.3

      Yep! That’s about it McF.
      You didn’t need the sarc tag in my opinion – pretty accurate description I would call it.

    5. 9.5

      McFlock’s comment should go into a twitter outlet or somewhere that will ensure wide dissemination. Its brilliant.

      1. 9.5.1

        YES! I don’t do twitter… although it will have too many characters?

        I am sharing it in my facebook… but I have so few friends there…

    6. 9.6

      Best summation I’ve read on Key’s position regarding his impending war/profiteering/fawning.

      So thanks McFlock – had the whole house, in fits of – uncomfortable laughter.

  10. 10

    The telling part about this is that al-Baghdadi isn’t really a difficult name to remember. Sounding as it does quite a bit like, you know, the capital of Iraq.

    Key can’t remember anything ever, and it’s cute and funny in a ha ha he’s a good sort (edit) kind of way. So he’s off the hook. (Despite previous colleagues saying he had an uncanny memory which frequently impressed them.)

    But the Oz defense minister is a shocker.

        2. 10.1.1.2

          Come on, the capital of NZ is “wherever” Key is. And the Aussie Defence Minister will be all atwitter because he’s entertaining this guy for a month.
          VIP

      1. 11.3.1

        Curiously enough, I know most of the others better than I ‘know’ Tova. I’ve only met her a couple of times at political party conferences but not talked much to her.

        However toad, ben hurley, keith ng, and foxy I know of old and for many years. I have been reading them a for much of a decade. I pretty aware of their positions and arguments from their on-line presence. But about the only thing I can say about Tova is that she has an impressive mic technique in the press huddles.

        But I haven’t watched TV news for most of the last decade except when segments are pointed out and are visible from the net. I still haven’t bothered to fix the TV aerial since I moved back to my apartment in September 2012.

        Which century are you in? It sounds like the 20th? You wouldn’t be a conservative lagging behind would you?

    4. 11.4

      “Apart from Tova, who are the rest of these people?”

      One of them is the PM of NZ.

      One is the leader of the army that the PM is sending our soldiers into a war against.

      The others don’t matter much in this story. 😀

      1. 11.4.1

        What will happen if (and when) one or more of these don’t matter people loses his/her life in battle? Will we have a full military funeral where we all watch the ‘pomp and circumstance’ on the telly but no-one knows who the victim/victims was/were?

        1. 11.4.1.1

          Probably depends how close to the election it is.

          Of course last time we had a funeral for soldiers killed in battle, John Key fucked off to his child’s baseball game instead.

          In the end it’s a very, very difficult decision. I’ve got to let somebody down, but my son makes huge sacrifices for me and my job and, in the final analysis, I’ve just decided it’s probably the right thing to do – to go and support him.

          http://www.odt.co.nz/news/politics/221022/sons-sport-keeps-key-soldiers-funerals

          1. 11.4.1.1.1

            … John Key fucked off to his child’s baseball game instead.

            Nah… that was 4 or 5 days later. He forgot to mention that. He f****d off early to Los Angeles to meet up with his Warner Bros. mates and… who knows who else!! It was around the time the FBI approached the GCSB and the NZ Police about conducting surveillance on Dotcom and his associates.

            You know, wot Key claimed he never knew anyfink about.

          2. 11.4.1.1.2

            Yeah, it was always bullshit that it was one or the other. He could have been here for the return of New Zealanders killed in battle as well as going to Boston to be a proud PMONZ wanker, but you know, he didn’t have the bottle.

            The-Once-Was-God-Key aye ?

      2. 11.4.2

        YUP, the irony abounds about needing to honour what those who were slaughtered at Gallipoli “died for” versus terminal reluctance to say anything about our most recent deployment…

  16. 16

    FJK only needs to know the name of the bloke who wants our kids over there. It also comes in useful when he schedules a golf game in Hawaii.

  17. 17

    Increasingly this ‘man’ (???) looks soooo pathetic. The clay feet……OMG !

    New Zealand media is ending its fascination with the Milan Brych of our politics.

    Can hear the knives sharpening from here. Couldn’t happen to a nicer fraud !

    Look after Fizzy friends……will be taking it hard.

    1. 17.1

      The nz media is propping up this corrupt govt by not holding them to account.

      They lack the bottle to call it like it is as they’ve sold out for the paypacket.

      Their only fascination is how gullible are the people to the PR spin and crap that passes for journalism in this country as they will not be challenging herr leader.

    1. 18.1

      Which means what exactly Ian……? That we have a Little-Churchill-Key happening round here ? No I think. Worryingly Our-Man-Key is showing some very Chicken-Hawk-Bush traits……”kim-jong-the-second” comes to mind. Akshilly, were I Little-Churchill-Key I’d be much more worried about the head-choppers in the National Party caucus rooms.

  21. 21

    Once upon a time New Zealand premiers showed a modicum of intelligence and common sense which enabled me to respect them even if I disagreed with their politics.

    This man is an embarrassment on so many levels. Can’t we find some reason to give him gardening leave in Hawaii right now?

  22. 22

    Sounds like typical Key/Bush gibberish/Jabberish to me Just fire them weapons that will get it right. Mr T Stop your jibber jabber
    With a big Hell Yeah im home to the Fed. Do you think he will remember how much money he has ? Sure thing

    1. 22.1

      Didn’t he have $50M when he started out and they still parrot on he has $50M
      over a decade later.
      He must be a master with his money to not see any growth over such a long time!
      Just saying

      1. 22.1.1

        I believe he went into politics with wealth just under 30mill which has grown due to the astute and canny moves made by the portfolio managers of his blind trust.

        The blind trusts that Shonky has no knowledge on the breakdown nor does anyone have any contact with the managers regarding potential investment opportunities such as say maybe brief share price movements or legislative and tender outcomes.

        Amazing how well they have done in such a tough market gosh they must be clairvoyants.

        1. 22.1.1.1

          Although I couldn’t possibly comment on how our esteemed leader might have established his “blind” trust I can postulate how I would do it.. Ensure the “new” executors of the trust are lawyers such that any discussions you have with them are covered by legal privilege. Pretty easy to still maintain full visibility and control of the investments of the trust however the discussions with the “trustees” can never be subject to investigation.

          Now whether our wondrous leader (/sarc) has leveraged such an approach, who would know..

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