Caption contest

Written By: notices and features - Date published: - 109 comments
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key-wine

109 comments on “Caption contest”

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  3. 3

    As you can see we have decided to go ‘aspirational’

    for the new breakfast in schools program

  6. 6

    (key on holiday in hawaii..)

    ..”..i don’t feel like any fizz right now…i’ve just been down to visit the boys in the pot-shop..”

    phillip ure..

  12. 12

    ” Oh shit, caught out, I usually get it put into Stienie bottles by my personal cellar keeper, you know to sorta look like one of the boys cos personally I don’t know how they can drink that beer muck”

  17. 17

    Moet’s a charity, right? Because this is my latest salary donation.

    …..

    Whaddya mean I’m not on the same planet as most New Zealanders? Look – my top button’s undone!

    …..

    Too early in the day, you say? But it’s lunchtime!

  19. 19

    we “nactoids” keep our policies in this magic bottle!
    look at the economy fizz from cheap credit
    wheeeee down with CGT!!

    PS. i pissed in it lol

    1. 21.1

      Me too. The look on his face – so supercilious and… aren’t I just wonderful.

      I reckon Labour should use that photo (the fuller length version) on a bill board with the caption at the bottom “Plonker?” during the election campaign. I wouldn’t put it up in all electorates – just those where people are really struggling and unemployment is rife. Remind them what a plonker… prick… he really is.

  22. 22

    oww Bro – got me a champagne to go wifa coupla power companys and this flash shirt I stole.
    Have any you fullas seen my hoodie or scarf.

  24. 24

    (not a caption:..more an observation..)

    ..back when i used to drink that stuff on a too-regular basis..i seem to remember moet being fairly low-rent..(something to sniff disdainfully at/to endure only if there was nothing better..)..

    ..definitely at the low-end of the up-market fizz-market..

    ..the sort of over-priced cheap crap drunk by the likes of hype-swallowing/loud/shiny-panted stockbrokers/lawyers..

    ..very declasse/to be avoided at all costs..

    ..what we here would know as the key-market…

    ..phillip ure..

  28. 28

    Aren’t I the clever bank robber then – and got away to a far-off island where all is sweet and no-one can touch me, or not unless I want them to. Nudge, nudge, wink, wink.

  31. 31

    key:..”heh..!..i call it a ‘blind-trust’..’cos i am usually ‘blind’ when i ring the caymans..and demand to know how my squillions are going..eh..?..”

    phillip ure..

  34. 34

    key:.”…this is a pressie from one of me mates who bought up big in mighty river power..

    ..and ackshully..!..what a cheap bastard..!..eh..?..

    ..only moet..?

    ..after all i’ve done for for him..?..”

    phillip ure..

  40. 40

    Normally when posing for a photo he looks so awkward in that “what do I do with my hands” way. But when assuming the “I’m a rich prick” look he’s got it down pat.

    Oh a caption:

    “Hey does my beer-gut look big with my shirt untucked like this? Oh wait, it doesn’t matter, coz I’m a rich prick! hahahahaha so awesome.”

  41. 41

    And very accurate, Moet is to champagne what Lion red and DB are to beer……low end mass produced for a price point.

    1. 41.1

      exactly ! we make much better champagne than Moet in NZ. This illustrates what a cretinous drunk Key is. He clearly knows nothing about wine.I was a food and wine waiter for many years.Had to know the restaurant cellar backwards or I wouldn’t have had a job. I loathed plonkers like Key.

        1. 41.1.1.1

          Bouldervines from Renwick a sparkling Chardonnay crisp , not too dry as European bubbly often is, and guaranteed headache free regardless of the quantity you quaff. Second choice Deutz in any shape or form especially the blanc de blanc, followed by Morton blanc de blanc or Morton black label.
          Run of the Mill (often on special at Pak n Save )Morton always a winner and superior to Moet. Crisp and not too dry.
          Always check out Cuisine recommendations each year as the boutique wineries in Marlborough and Hawkes Bay produce winners each year but aren’t always consistently the same wineries.
          Dom Perignon , Tattingers,Veuve Cliquot Bollinger are all much better French champagne the grotty old Moet.

          1. 41.1.1.1.1

            What are your thoughts on Trinity Bay Homage Syrah The greens were sipping at their KPMG hosted dinner the other week? I hear it’s only $120 a bottle.

            1. 41.1.1.1.1.1

              Different grape w’ere talking champers here dahling!
              At the affordable end. The point being the industrial nature of Moet compared to the affordable kiwi bubbly. Which is so superior the French bought Deutz.
              And if Key was a Kiwi he would promote Kiwi wine. He doesn’t because he’s a cretinous greedy drunk!

              1. 41.1.1.1.1.1.1

                Tend to agree, could never work out why people buy imported trash when we make the good stuff here. still, thought the Greens would have gone for kiwifruit or feijoa – both of which I find bloody awful.

        1. 41.1.2.1

          Whateva be a pedant then! Same shit different bucket . I am well aware of the naming rights regarding French champagne. Doesn’t alter the fact that it is the old French champagne houses who are buying up Marlborough vineyards and bubbly manufacturers!Because our bubbly really is that good. Fat chance our dickhead PM will ever understand that!.

  44. 44

    Take the cork out and the contents ejaculate… just like I do every time my mates ring me up thanking me for selling them the cute country estate once called New Zealand.

  47. 47

    She keeps her Moet & Chandon in a pretty cabinet. “Let them eat cake,” she says. Just like Mary Antionette…

  49. 49

    “New poll results just in… can’t wait to see the inevitable post on the standard within minutes of the results”

  54. 54

    OK…….my bottle of Moet…….plus a sinecure, take your take your pick, commissioner, ambassador…….for your bottle of Dom. Nah, sorry, the Race one’s gone.

    1. 58.1

      I never drink in the daytime. I know that I’ve said that twice but it’s only words isn’t it and besides this is a nice little drop from a National supporter who has a great vineyard up the East Coast. If you like the taste I can get you a special deal!

  59. 59

    “Say, wouldn’t you like to know what’s going on in my mind?
    So let me get right to the point. I don’t pop my cork for every guy I see.
    Hey, Big Spender, spend a little time with me.”

  60. 60

    John: There was one thing ma’am, a fine wine from the far east. A most delicious beverage.

    Judith: Have a taste boys; tell us what you think.

    Peter: It certainly has plenty of nose.

    Winston: Oh yes, this is very familiar.

    John: You’ll be delighted to hear there’s an inexhaustible supply of the stuff.

  61. 61

    Yeah, I’ve got a highly professionally qualified, alpha male Samoan mate, who’s a bit of a social, as opposed to a political conservative, who repeatedly says to me – “You know, I reckon that Mister Key, well, I’m sure he’s a bit of a g…”

    Means nothing, just saying.

  67. 67

    This is the real me.Better than you,mean spirited, arrogant supercilious, dishonest,don’t care about anyone unless they are rich like me,sneaky, underhanded,devious and no I’m not lying this time. Time for a mowit.

  72. 72

    Not a caption, but a serious comment, how can anyone be such a tosser as to pose like this for a photo?!

  76. 76

    I sent this photo of me to Moet et Chandon in hopes of scoring a modelling contract for their advertisements. Strangely, they haven’t got back to me yet.

  78. 78

    You can have your fruit in schools, we’ve got our Champagne, free travel and ministerial cars on the tax payer.

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