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take me to your larder
Don’t you guys have a sense of humour? It went down well with NgÄti Porou.
Your grandson? I assumed it was the main course.
“I love Maori but I couldn’t eat a whole one!”
*Thinks
What was that greeting I was taught –
Kia-ora? or Kai-tangata?
No thanks Tame. I’m full!
Couldn’t eat another one!
E Koro! Why’s that tauiwi sniffing me?
This ones kanga-fed John.
He’s a succulent one!
Trade you for your tama!
While meeting with Tameiti, the Prime Minister hid as much exposed flesh as possible.
“Don’t worry Tama, we here at the VRWC have known for a long time that baby eating enhances your mana”
Don’t eat me bro!
nom nom nom
F***ing intellectuals!
Ko te tama nei?
Ko toku mokopuna ia.
Ko ‘Momona me reka’ tana ingoa!
Ummm, I need to look to find some Maori translator code. Can you restate that in c++?
aroha mai 1prent
This boy?
He’s my grandchild.
His name is ‘Fat and sweet’.
Ko te tama nei?
Ko toku mokopuna ia.
Ko ‘Momona me reka’ tana ingoa!
🙂
Try this one, better phrased, greenfly:
E tama nei?
He mokopuna i a ia
Ko ‘He momona a he reka’ tana ingoa
Does that sound better, or have I munted it up?
It does and you haven’t.
Pai rawa tou whakatika ki a au.
“Hi John, good to see you with your hands in your own pockets for a change”
Dinner. Yours or mine?
Look! I got takeout!
fyi – TÄme Iti
“So, you’ll get me a job in Jackie Blue’s office, and all I have to do is let you take my mokopuna to Waitangi?”
He’ll be just fine Tame.
I’ll have him chur-broiled.
“Well Tame, I see you’ve certainly grabbed life with both hands.”
“I hate to disappoint you Tame, but I’m sure your next generation will find our party even harder to digest than you do.”
What did you say Tama? Hongi or hangi?
Tame: “Keep smiling John – and hope like hell the boys scored enough real pork for the hangi.”
“Dont fret Tame, we gonna legislate to allow consumption of homosapien again very soon. Great export potential too”
“I understand you got something to say?”
“heheh arr, not really umm, ha. hmmm.”
“You’re looking a bit tense John – what’s eating you?’
But some of my best friends are maori.
Hey John, when the bro’s told you the East Coast had the best pot, they weren’t talking about cooking, eh..
No that’s not how it works, you can’t swap your first born for Te Urewera National Park.
John K – Do you read the Standard.
Tama Iti – No it’s shit.
E Koro – Didn’t you say we shouldn’t play with our kai?
I bet you wouldn’t dress the kid in a NZ flag and tell him to lie on the ground outside the marae !
Where’d that come from burt? You’re really letting it all out lately, aintcha?
Jesus! That’s not a piece of spinach stuck between Tame’s teeth!
That burp of Tame’s!
Reminds me of the way my granny used to smell…
hang on!
Yeah, yeah, nah Tame. Traders Oysters would be off the menu. Never did have any balls. What you see standing before you is just a useless shirted prick prone to vacuous ejaculations…
“Well Tame, once I got my foot back out of my mouth I realised that you couldn’t possibly be interested in a man of such poor taste.”
“How about it John. You give back our land and I’ll hand over your car keys and your nephew.”
“You’re a funny guy, John. I like you. That’s why I’m going to kill you last.” – Arnold Schwarzenneger – Commando (1985)
I keep my end of the deal John, I’ve brought the baby guling now give us back Te Urewera’s.
Nice camo’s bro. But did you see me in that flak jacket?
If you eat me for breakfast Tame, I’ll be gone by lunchtime. Let me go and I’ll send you Brownlee and Joyce. They should see you through the winter.
John: I can do it I know I can, don’t make me laugh Tama cos when I laugh I smile when I smile I wave and If I keep my hands in my pockets I will beat this bloody addiction foreshore. Oh shit did I say foreshore?
You brown fellas are tricky aye man?
i almost fell off my chair laughing with this image 😆
can’t think of a caption that could be any funnier than the image itself
oh the rich ironies of politics
Come on Tama, remember what happened to the bloody Moa when you ate all the ones that were easy to catch !
Key: “I’m relaxed about it”, Tama: “what the fuck you relaxed about whiteboi”.
Hey Tama, I came here to be culturally sensitive. I left the nightshirts and tea-towels in the ME. Can’t you offer me something more than a baby hangi?
Nah! I never believed that stuff in the police affidavit. Those chaps were given to extravagant rhetoric! Keith Locke gave them all good reference.
After confiscating your fertile land, destroying your crops and homes, chasing off your stock and charging you exorbitantly for surveying your land without your permission we’ll make jokes about you and maintain the status quo. What’s your problem?
“Shirkers unite! You have nothing to lose but your brains!”
John K – You know Tame as Minister of Tourism I could help you with development of tourism on your land, a PPP arrangement – you know a Public-Private Partnership.
Tame I – No good John. The three P’s we’re interested in are pork, puha and Papa-tu-anuku (Mother Earth).
The innate a priori capacity of infants to divine sublimated terror and incipient catastrophe is encapsulated for posterity in the now-classic “Tama and the Smiling Snake” snapped shortly before the watershed “Tuhoegate” events of 2010 by an anonymous blogger. (re-produced with kind permission from “Our Humble Parts”: Prentice and R0bspierrre, MartyPress 2015, and the Clark Foundation)
Your style of wit has a relatively familiar ring to it.
Smells like fish, tastes like chicken, John Key you’re a c***
Celebrity Master Chef NZ judge John Key emerges apparently unscathed after a grilling by failed Tuhoe finalist Tame Iti.
Emerging from ‘in tents’ negotiations neither man proved willing to reveal his hand.
Politically I really need to put a cycle way through it, if you agree to that it’s yours.
kia ora burt, long time no see, back on the bike?
‘Look Tame, a smile and a wave is not agreement that something is doable.’
Yes, I did make the joke, but I smiled and waved when I said it so everything is ok.
key:..
will a smile and a wave do..?
key:..
um..!..no thanks..i don’t think i can make it over for dinner…
iti:..
wanna belly-bounce…?
key:..
i guess a moko wouldn’t be entirely out of the question…
..it’s do-able…
phil(whoar.co.nz)
key:..
didja hear that joke i cracked last night..?
phil(whoar.co.nz)
it:..
that’s not funny bro..!
phil(whoar.co.nz)
key:..
yes..bronny cuts my hair…
phil(whoar.co.nz)
key:..
do i wanna go pig-hunting with you..?
phil(whoar.co.nz)
key:..
we have both got big noses..haven’t we…?
phil(whoar.co.nz)
iti:..
would you mind going vegetarian for a few months..?
it improves the taste…
phil(whoar.co.nz)
iti:
i’m in my cammo…
..wanna come into the tent for some war-talk…?
phil(whoar.co.nz)
iti:
i cd give you a mccrystal…
c’mon..!
phil(whoar.co.nz)
iti:..
d’ya know that all the bro’s are calling you one-term-john..?
phil(whoar.co.nz)
What I actually said Tame was,
which is Tuhoe, and I did them like a dinner
Tame Eaty.
Did anyone else notice from the picture, that Tame Iti has John Key’s life in his hands?
Iti: “When the camera stop I boot your arse off my Marae”
Key: “In your dreams pokokohua”
iti:..
remember that night you stayed down here…a few years back..?
..and that wahine..?
..say hello to the result…
phil(whoar.co.nz)