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Not the face, Not the face
These are not the ‘droids you’re looking for.
Some clowns have tiny bikes, I have a tiny microphone.
Look.
Talk to the hand.
(Cos I don’t give a shit.
Ackshully.)
Monorail! Monorail!
Whos that?
Thank fuck, its just you Garner
.”I was just checking my Blind Trust”
Follow me everyone
I found this Black hole.
“I am not a crook.”
Hey dont shoot the messenger.
Crosby Textor’s who you want.
Ackshully, as I can’t speak English prply, will try Sign Language. Worked for Bob Parker!
PS – no disrespect of NZSL or its users meant: though it was great to see NZ’s third language being used/recognised publicly in the Christchurch disaster press conferences etc.
that’s a nice brand of educative elitism you’re wearing. Do you mind telling me where you bought it?
Probably in a state school in the days before national standards.
Key on Papamoa beach
Five days too late.
Look into my eyes. You are in my power. You love me. You love me. No matter what I say or do. You love me. You love me.
pull my finger, any finger…
Anyone got a magic wand? Anyone? Put it right here…
I mean, money isn’t everything. Think of clouds and daisies, and the lovely smiles on little babies’ faces.
And hooptiously drangle me with crinkly bindlewurdles, Or I will rend thee in the gobberwarts with my blurglecruncheon, see if I don’t!”
“Anyone got a working magic wand?”
See folks? Nothing in this hand….nothing up the sleeve….nothing between the ear – BEHIND! – behind the ears! (oh god, help me mum – I MEAN GUYON! …help me Steve, make it end…)
“…and …POOF… The money is gone!”
“…and POOF, I jet off to my mansion in Hawaii and whoever’s left deals with this mess. So that’s the brighter future plan, any questions?”
Put that shoe down!
———————
No it’s not a lie if a lot of people believe it
———————
The Prime Minister demonstrates how the credit downgrade was just a trick of the light
———————
After facing opposition, PM tries to fade into the background
———————
PM realises his hallo has fallen and it’s not showing him in a good light
———————
PM explains to Shane Warne the move he put on Liz Hurley
———————
Key, wanting to get back at Annette King for the scumbag remark, practices the “woman and stairs” move his friend Tony Veitch taught him
———————
Now watch as I make the rest of the economy vanish…
“I have a vision – a grand vision – of my face. On billboards. Everywhere.”
“I did not have sexual relations with that woman”
Abracadabra 170,000 jobs. Abracadabra 170,000 jobs. Abracadabra 170,000 jobs. Abracadabra 170,000 jobs. Abracadabra 170,000 jobs. Abracadabra 170,000 jobs. Abracadabra 170,000 jobs. Abracadabra 170,000 jobs. Abracadabra 170,000 jobs. Abracadabra 170,000 jobs. Abracadabra 170,000 jobs. Abracadabra 170,000 jobs. Abracadabra 170,000 jobs. Abracadabra 170,000 jobs. Abracadabra 170,000 jobs.
so you hold the little oil-caked bird like this and then using this cotton wool bud you begin to gently wipe the feathers…
What are you doing with that crucifix…
“Nothing can stop.. THE CLAW!!!”
*Akshully more like this one: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6V2ylVXLgcQ
This PM will self destruct before November 26th
Ying Skywalkah, unly now, it the und, do ya realise tha drew poweh of tha Dick Side… Gut ruddy for my sparkly lightning fungutups… any sukund now…
The only thing straight with this man is his tie!
…and when they finally got home and got out of the car…there was a bloody hook hanging from the door handle…ripped from the arm of the psycho stockbroker…
Yeah look I know Im wearing Winstons pinstripe jacket but like Ive said… I wont work with NZ First…Ive just borrowed it cos after visiting Tauranga all my clothes are ruined.
Possum caught in the headlights.
He suddenly remembered he was the PM and it was all a bit much for him.
– As you can tell from the lighting I’m determined to return NZ into the Dark Ages.
– Yes I know its dark but I’ve had a fallout with the mates I sold the power companies to and they cut supply despite the fact its unaffordable anyway.
– Its not Dark Yet…but its getting there. (B. Dylan)
– Despite “enjoying a large lead in the polls” I’m practising in case I lose for a new role as head of Destiny Church.
The Brighter Future looks a bit dark from where I’m standing Johnny Boy.
Why yes, I am a short-fingered vulgarian.
“Sure it looks like I’m trying to do one of those scary torch faces, but is the lighting catching my All Black’s Silver Fern?”
Trust me trust me trust me trust me……………..i am honest John
(repeat above ad infinitum)
Disturbingly lifelike Hollowman skin suit found hanging inside an abandoned Christchurch warehouse.
“Look into my eyes, look into my eyes, not around my eyes, look into my eyes…you now think that you’re better off under National. You think that you have a job. You will tell everyone it’s thanks to me.”
*snap* You’re back in the room.
– Police release photo of man wanted for State Owned Asset robbery.
– PM proves to David Copperfield you can make State Owned Assets disappear.
-” Dont worry about the lights going out NZ… I’ve got container loads of candles coming on the Rena”
No no it’s not a solar eclipse… its just Paula or Gerry moving behind me.
now the peasants have voted me back in for another 3 years there’ll be no more backchat from you f**rs in the media
“Observe me, my dears, how I have ruined the economy and our credit rating with just one clammy hand.”
“Steady on, Bronagh, there’s no need for a crossbow – I didn’t really mean you were a hobbit. I did it to further my career and our trips to Hawai’i.”
Yes, electricity will be more expensive, but see, dark really isn’t that bad…