Caption competition

Written By: notices and features - Date published: - 75 comments
Categories: caption contest

Hannah Peters/Getty Images:

blue-key

75 comments on “Caption competition”

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  2. 2

    “It’s a recessive gene trait, John, called hitchhiker’s thumb; you’ll be needing it in 2017.”

  4. 4

    New Zealand Prime Minister John Key tries Colloidal silver in a bid to reverse his near-terminal rampant narcissism.

  6. 6

    “So John you know how it goes… the temptation was too much…so I just grabbed her ponytail and just cut it like this.’

    “Oh nice…not only are you a great pollster David but your very creepy too.. I like your style.”

    1. 7.1

      Hahahaha, I think his/its thumb would look the same as a builders thumb, except not from being hit by a hammer, but rather from being sucked his/its whole life.
      I mean, he really is a SUCKer who is not growing up.

  15. 15

    As a Labour party member I see this as lame/petty and probably functions to turn away people from the Labour party. The party still needs to figure out what went so wrong in 2014 and shit like this ain’t going to help. Childish (sorry to children) and lame lame lame. Grow up, look inside the party and figure it out. Stop with this externalizing shit.

    [This is not a Labour Party blog, Simon. TRP]

    1. 15.1

      Are you envisaging something along these lines, Simon ?

      Scenario One

      NZ Labour Party Council member 1: “We need to figure out what went so wrong in 2014 and fast !!!”

      NZ Labour Party Council member 2: “Believe me, we’re trying to but a relatively obscure Caption Contest on THE STANDARD blogsite is making it all but impossible !!!”

      Scenario Two

      Ordinary Punter: “I feel like it’s time to join the Labour Party and get active. I’ve had it up to here with this friggin government.”

      Ordinary Punter’s Spouse: “Whoa there !!!, You do realise a Left-leaning Blog has recently posted a relatively obscure Caption Competition illustrated by a photo of John Key bathed in fluorescent blue light ?”

      Ordinary Punter: “Awwww, for the love of God !!! They just blew it BIG TIME !!! I’m voting National.”

      1. 15.1.1

        NZ Labour Party Council Member 1: I wonder why blue collar workers, students, teachers etc. are voting National?

        NZ Labour Party Council Member 2: I’m not sure, but what I do know is that it has nothing to do with the widely held perception that we are a dysfunctional party, and the belief that a dysfunctional party will be disastrous for the country.

        NZ Labour Party Council Member 3: I agree, the public understands that a collection of career politicians is exactly what the country needs. I mean, just look at the traction that Jacinda Ardern has made on the child poverty issue in the last 7 years. At this rate, it will only be a few decades before the government may be pushed to DEFINE poverty…imagine that.

        Ordinary Punter: Nothing like seeing long time Labour party members posting links on twitter to childish caption competitions for the PM. Not at all congruent with the perception that the Labour party is a college of self interested sycophants who seem totally unable to get their collective heads out of their collective asses and do what needs to be done to make the party relevant again.

  17. 17

    I want you to roll John Beaurgarde into the boat and take him along to the Juicing Room at once. ‘Kay?

  27. 27

    Look, at the end of the day, there wont be any side effects from the TPPA to worry about, I’m very comfortable with that.

    Buy the way, luvin that fully erect thumb mate…

    1. 27.1

      I find it amusing when people use the word “look” in their sentences. It happens when people are trying to assert a false sense of authority into their words.
      I giggle to myself, knowing that the person using it in sentences, is insecure about themselves, so hide that insecurity by ensuring to inject false authority into their speech.
      Once again, I just laugh to myself when I hear it.

  28. 28

    Navi expelled from the tribe for deviance have their hair cut off, and can no longer form Tsaheylu.

  34. 34

    “Whatever. We kiwis only take yeah, nah, maybe for an answer” – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G2uCNd1AVJo

    Or

    “In the Court of the Blue King” – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MnQATA2jPXY

    Cat’s foot iron claw
    Neuro-surgeons scream for more
    At paranoia’s poison door.
    Twenty first century schizoid man.

    Blood rack barbed wire
    Politicians’ funeral pyre
    Innocents raped with napalm fire
    Twenty first century schizoid man.

    Death seed blind man’s greed
    Poets’ starving children bleed
    Nothing he’s got he really needs
    Twenty first century schizoid man

  37. 37

    Instead of a caption, I’ll do some song lyrics (based on the crooked thumb in the image)

    Verse 1
    There was a crooked man
    with a crooked little grin,
    He had a crooked shirt
    from a crooked rubbish bin,
    He had a crooked view
    with a crooked little back,
    Lets all get together and give the
    crooked man the sack.
    Verse 2
    He had a crooked “friend”
    with a crooked little smile,
    He had some crooked money
    for a crooked little while,
    They all lived together on a
    crooked little earth
    When all is said and done,
    he had such little worth.
    Verse 3
    There was a crooked day
    when he sold his crooked soul,
    Attaining massive wealth
    was his one and only goal,
    He pushed all others down just to
    put himself on top,
    There surely comes a time when
    all of this must stop.

    Please add your own verse if you can, but make sure it rhymes.

    1. 37.1

      There’ll come a looked for day
      when we all will well agree
      That we put full and final paid
      to this crooked little spree;
      We all go down to the polling place
      on that day before it’s dark,
      and upon the voting paper
      we place our crooked mark.

      The box for crooked National
      We intentionally leave blank,
      cos to vote for them we still get all
      the same collective wank;
      our crooked little tick we place
      in some progressive box,
      and with red or green or pinkish hue
      give blue the crooked pox.

      2. 37.1.2

        chorus,………..
        Ah ha
        Oh oh don’t let the public know
        Ah ah
        Oh oh don’t let the public know
        Ah ha
        Oh oh don’t let the pubic know..

        Oh yes Johns truths got a hole in it and John will frown.
        Oh yes Johns truths got hole in it to bring him down.

  47. 47

    Robert A. Heinlein was right, as John Keys corporate alien puppet-master exposed in blue light of Trans Pacific Partnership Alert-ray beam.

  52. 52

    Take 34, Phewww, Lets try again John? Rock, Paper, Scissors???? Come on John…u must have a clue?

  55. 55

    Only a few more minutes to go John…..Keep holding!!!!……..1001 1002 1003………….keep holding 1004 1005 1006 1007……………..

  60. 60

    Right John….if i add one thumb to one thumb and i take away one thumb what am i left with?

    Now think!

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