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Grateful poor to thank rich for trickle down wealth

Written By: - Date published: 1:09 pm, May 19th, 2010 - 29 comments

It is befitting that the 27st of May – just one week after the Budget – marks Thank The Rich Day, which sees poor people the length of the country gearing up to offer their gratitude to the rich for their contribution to the welfare of the poor through making themselves richer. Thank The Rich Day is, in fact, the brainchild of grocery packer Joe Brown…

More dim bulbs

Written By: - Date published: 1:22 pm, May 18th, 2010 - 11 comments

Yesterday I posted on John Key being named “Dim bulb of the week” by the San Francisco Examiner. Continuing with a dim bulb theme – let’s talk about Edison Hour, as it is explained to us by a budding genius from ACT…

An addicted technophobe; a politician

Written By: - Date published: 1:17 pm, May 18th, 2010 - 12 comments

Apparently, President Obama has delivered a speech ‘ranting’ against technology. The opinion in The Economist is worth a  read just for the joy of reading the hilarity between the lines. ‘WITH iPods and iPads and Xboxes and PlayStations—none of which I know how to work—information becomes a distraction, a diversion, a form of entertainment, rather […]

Caption Contest

Written By: - Date published: 11:45 am, May 14th, 2010 - 85 comments

Murdering thieves ‘joke’ clouds Treaty talks

Written By: - Date published: 10:40 pm, May 13th, 2010 - 51 comments

Embroiled in fraught Treaty talks, Tuhoe negotiator Tamati Kruger has made things worse with an inopportune joke: “The good news tonight is that I was having dinner with my whanau as opposed to with the representatives of the Crown in which case I would be lucky to get away without having my land stolen and my family murdered”.

PM’s Technical Advisory

Written By: - Date published: 9:31 am, May 9th, 2010 - 12 comments

Prime Minister John Key has released a multimedia demonstration prepared by his Technical Advisory Panel to explain why, despite election ‘promises’, New Zealand will not be getting ultra-fast broadband any time soon under National. Yes folks, like John Key’s Magical Cycleway To Salvation, there are a myriad of previously unconsidered reasons why we just can’t […]

Help the Campaign for MMP, they’re Internet illiterates

Written By: - Date published: 12:11 am, May 9th, 2010 - 53 comments

One thing that the election in Britain brought home to me, was how much I’m grateful for having Mixed Member Proportional (MMP) representation here. I didn’t start that way. Over time, I’ve grown to appreciate the gradual progress and stability offered by MMP. However the people at the Campaign for MMP could do with a little help in the Internet age. They’re operating like it was 1993.

Key ‘not sure’ which Bennett he appointed

Written By: - Date published: 10:42 pm, May 6th, 2010 - 82 comments

Prime Minister John Key explained today that there are two Paula Bennetts and he is unsure which one is Minister of Social Development. The two are easily confused. The first Bennett is a solo mum who relied on the DPB. The second Bennett attacks DPB mums, forcing them to seek work.

Meta Caption Contest

Written By: - Date published: 2:14 pm, May 6th, 2010 - 15 comments

Stewart vs. Fox

Written By: - Date published: 3:02 pm, April 22nd, 2010 - 19 comments

When will conservative commentators stop picking fights with Jon Stewart? It never ends well for them.

Octagon Mine Plans Announced

Written By: - Date published: 11:58 am, April 22nd, 2010 - 12 comments

The Great National Mining Corporation has chosen Earth Day to announce its plans to seek government approval to mine in Dunedin’s Octagon. Commenting on the irony of the timing of the release of their plans, GNMC spokesman Doug de Houlle said “What better day than Earth Day? The government wants mining and we can move the earth to do it.”

Lee eyeing up Wigram?

Written By: - Date published: 11:21 am, April 21st, 2010 - 18 comments

Odds are good Jim Anderton is standing for mayor of Christchurch. By-election will be a chance to rev up the Labour machine again. Safe seat: Labour+Progressive had over 20,000 candidate votes. Also gives Progressives and Labour time to combine their assets, activists, and systems well before the general election. But it looks like Labour isn’t the only one seeing an opportunity:

Copying is not theft

Written By: - Date published: 8:33 am, April 19th, 2010 - 25 comments

Here’s a catchy tune for all you pirates out there. Get your kids to sing along!

If smiles equaled FTAs Key wouldn’t be a do nothing PM

Written By: - Date published: 12:20 pm, April 18th, 2010 - 7 comments

Journos. Obama didn’t meet Key before dinner on a big stage in front of the media because it was just practical. The leaders didn’t stand with awkward grins for the group photo because it was a crucial step in the diplomatic process. This is being done for you. Only you. It is meaningless apart from the fact they know the media will lap it up. They think you’re saps. And you keep proving them right.

Mr Key’s exciting Washington adventure

Written By: - Date published: 7:00 am, April 14th, 2010 - 19 comments

Following this masterpiece from Rabid Fire on Key’s F#ck Everybody policy, here’s a lovely summary of Mr Key’s exciting Washington adventure.

… the PM soon brightened, opening the Prime Ministerial lunchbox to show the press gallery his special lunch. “Look! Look! Bronagh’s made me special aeroplane shaped sandwiches for when I go on the aeroplane!”

Meanwhile, in the provinces

Written By: - Date published: 1:11 pm, April 13th, 2010 - 46 comments

The biggest story of the day according to Stuff comes from the Taranaki Daily News: “Cruel taggers deface old goat”
I love that headline: it paints a picture of an almost elemental conflict between the forces of evil as represented by taggers and the forces of decency as represented by an old goat.

Humour of the week

Written By: - Date published: 9:01 pm, April 6th, 2010 - 10 comments

David Slack says..

“Qantas passenger threatened to bring down flight with the power of his mind. Ten bucks says he’s wearing an ACT T-shirt”

But it made me laugh after a hard weekend. as it perfectly reflects that way I feel about the breed.

11/10

Written By: - Date published: 9:37 am, March 31st, 2010 - 15 comments

Managed 11/10 in this week’s stuff politics quiz.

Just under 0 seconds.

No guesses.

Try your luck, if you think you can do better!

Sub-humans

Written By: - Date published: 2:14 pm, March 27th, 2010 - 4 comments

Can’t argue with Tom Scott on a good day….

Gerry Brownlee’s date scone recipe

Written By: - Date published: 8:31 am, March 26th, 2010 - 15 comments

1. Decide that you are going to get rich out of selling dates.

2. No! Better! Get rich by having your mates sell your dates and clipping the ticket.

3. Take a dozen or so date scones.

4. Ignore all the dates sitting around that are not in scones…

About time for another Key photo op

Written By: - Date published: 9:02 am, March 25th, 2010 - 29 comments

That time of the cycle again. Unpopular policy. Crappy week in the House. Nats gotta switch the mood. Photo op. Something stupid for the papers to run. Something for the journos to say ‘your ministers are a bunch of incompetents, lairs, and thieves. All your important promises have been broken. And you keep lying to us. But damn you’re cute’. What will it be? I’ve got an inside hint. You can have a look. But don’t tell anyone.

Sadistics office backs National Standards

Written By: - Date published: 3:55 pm, March 19th, 2010 - 19 comments

New instalment from John Key impersonater “Plumedekiwi”, in which the PM gets his linguistic knickers in a twist over national standards….
If you haven’t seen the other vids by Plumedekiwi, check him out here

50 dollars and northwards

Written By: - Date published: 11:30 am, March 16th, 2010 - 14 comments

Felix can hardly contain himself at the prospect of National’s tax changes: Woohoo!! Told you my mate Mr Key would be able to deliver a “north of $50 a week” tax cut. And you all said he wouldn’t. So who’s looking stupid now eh? I mean sure, you need to bring in $180,000 a year to get it but just get off your arse and be a bit more ambitious whydontcha?

Save Radio NZ dethrones Key

Written By: - Date published: 9:38 am, March 12th, 2010 - 14 comments

Who would have thought that a Facebook group advocating to keep Radio NZ funded and commercial-free would overtake Prime Minister John Key’s fan group for number of members? Well, yesterday at 9.30, just over three weeks since it was founded, the Save Radio New Zealand group reached 18,973 members, passing Key’s 18,972. That gives a […]

Come on Granny

Written By: - Date published: 3:57 pm, March 6th, 2010 - 11 comments

Come on Granny Herald. You’re almost there…

Alternate forms of protest

Written By: - Date published: 5:41 pm, March 4th, 2010 - 27 comments

Now this is pretty damn funny and just adds to todays absurdities over the waste of money on rugby world cup TV in 2011. Veteran Springbok Tour protester John Minto has found himself at the centre of a new Eden Park storm, with a controversial plan to name a nearby $3 million road after him.

Will the supercity transition authority now want to stop community boards from naming streets?

Glorious school building opened by honourable leader

Written By: - Date published: 10:20 am, March 4th, 2010 - 62 comments

Beloved Leader of People’s Constitutional Monarchy of New Zealand, Honourable John Key, attended glorious opening of school building on Tuesday.
Several youths were overcome by the glory of Honourable Leader’s appearance as were several members of the press corps.

Why not a Maori minimum wage too?

Written By: - Date published: 12:59 pm, February 24th, 2010 - 58 comments

The faulty logic behind Roger Douglas’ bill to cut the wages of young workers could just as easily be applied to any number of groups hit hard by the recession – Maori, students, men, dropouts, singles, people in Northland. What if we were to change a couple of key words in his bill?

John Key discovers new word. Country celebrates.

Written By: - Date published: 12:09 pm, February 23rd, 2010 - 17 comments

This morning the DomPost ran an article by Tracy Watkins about several ministers misusing their ministerial credit cards for personal entertainment. They obtained the information by doing OIAs (Official Information Act requests). Now I’ve come to expect that NACT ministers will do (in John Keys words) “stupid” things in office. But what I found significant was that John Key appears to have discovered the use of a new word “disappointment”. This is a major advance for the NACT political vocabulary.

Keynes and Hayek rap

Written By: - Date published: 3:52 pm, February 19th, 2010 - 20 comments

In Fear the Boom and Bust, John Maynard Keynes and F. A. Hayek, two of the great economists of the 20th century go out for a night on the town and sing about why there’s a “boom and bust” cycle in modern economies and good reason to fear it.

Key too busy doing nothing

Written By: - Date published: 10:27 am, February 17th, 2010 - 5 comments

Tongue in cheek, George notes: When asked in Parliament why he hadn’t paid closer attention to his share portfolio, Key replied: “small technical issue, I’ve been busy running the country”. That statement must come close to misleading Parliament.