Caption Contest

Written By: notices and features - Date published: - 100 comments
Categories: caption contest, john key, national

John Key soldier

The normal rules apply. Keep it seemly …

100 comments on “Caption Contest”

Comment numbers have changed to permanent references. Older quoted numbers may no longer identify the same comment.

  7. 7

    “Remember: Smile, wave, scuttle and RUN” … Damn Crosby Textor for telling me that channelling Rambo is meant to be good for my macho image.

  17. 17

    I came here as a distraction from the TPPA but this Iraqi food has done my guts in and my PA thought I said to leave the TP behind.

  19. 19

    Deep in Iraq with magazines and something resembling a cafe number stand in front of him, the Prime Minister tells stories of a different sort of battleground in Parnell involving the dreaded HipHop group, bodyguards and a deranged individual in close quarter combat.

  22. 22

    “why is your equipment so dirty and tattered? This is my photo-op, you should have worn new gear like I did.”

  24. 24

    Singing under his breath through clenched teeth; “Macho macho man, I want to be a macho man………………….”

  27. 27

    Key detours to Afghanistan to pick up a flak jacket ready for his return to NZ to face protest against the shitty TPP deal.

  28. 28

    When I saw the leader of Iraq meeting Key last night I thought this might have gone through the good leader of Iraq’s head

    “What is Obama’s caddy doing in Iraq???”

  37. 37

    NZ Prime Minister shows support for our brave servicemen and women, serving under terrible conditions at great risk.
    Like him, I am proud of them and their dedication, whatever the politics.
    Not the time to sneer or take cheap shots.
    Unworthy of you all.

    1. 37.1

      Right winger clutches pearls, displays risible ignorance of military humour, let alone civilian.

      Fuck off, dickhead.

        1. 37.1.1.1

          Perhaps you would prefer to be over there fighting the infidels that our allies have kindly funded, so we can reinstate the kiwi bbq on 1/4 acre sections in baghdad.

      1. 37.2.1

        I used to cite that survey before I learnt the ratio between the psychology papers that find the hypothesis and those that attempt replication of previous results.

        “Psychology” is indistinguishable from confirmation bias.

    3. 37.3

      Well said Bea. The hatred from the left when it comes to JK has been going on since he became leader of the opposition. Why don’t they just build a bridge……

      1. 37.3.1

        “Why don’t they just build a bridge”

        Cant and never will, its called envy on everything that John Key stands for.
        Their attitude is not fit for the government benches.

      2. 37.3.2

        Like a bridge, over degradation of human rights, and the rule of law, I will lay me down…

        Yeah nah. I couldn’t care less about your Dear Leader: it’s the lies he represents.

            1. 37.3.2.1.1.1

              Only the Left and the Law Society and The Lancet.

              Has my charitable donation to your Google-ignorance fund arrived yet Stigie?

      3. 37.3.3

        And watch it get washed away in the next climate change flood devastation. Really? yeah thats what happens to promised bridges in election bribes how utterly utter of you Phil, Duke of Edinburgh award is in the post .

  38. 38

    “I want to live my fantasies”.

    “Permission to speak freely Sir.”

    “Granted.”

    “Sir, no-one here is going to escort you to enemy territory. You’re on your own.”

    1. 38.1

      What are you talking about. They will be more than happy to escort him to enemy territory.
      Not suddenly pulling out and leaving him behind while heading back to the safety of the base as soon as he gets out to look around. Now that is a different story. ;-p

  42. 42

    I thought photographers scoffed at ‘bird on a stick’ photos, but look, if you’re saying Barack is looking for a Kiwi on a stick to add to his ornithological collection, then, ah sure – I’m fairly comfortable with that. Just give me a moment to get ministerially relaxed….

  43. 43

    With that aerial you can receive National Radio, is Kim Hill still on morning report. Oh….can i hang with you guys a bit longer

  44. 44

    Yeah, yeah, I know there have been Government cuts to defense spending, but I thought we could’ve supplied you with a more realistic-looking toy gun than that one.

  47. 47

    “It ain’t me, it ain’t me,
    I’m no military son, y’all.
    It ain’t me, it ain’t me,
    I’m no fortunate one…”
    (Fortunate Son, Creedence Clearwater Revival)

  48. 48

    “How effective is the padding on the back of the jacket? Does it stop knives as well as bullets?” said John, thinking of Judith.

  56. 56

    Key: “Do you think I’m in danger here?”

    Soldier: “No sir. We’ve told the terrorists that Judith Collins is the PM and you’re just an old has-been”.

  58. 58

    Key: “What’s with the straw?”

    Soldier: “It’s all we’ve got left now sir, now that you’ve spent $200,000 a piece on new BMWs, sir”.

  59. 59

    I better keep it on when I get home, well back to NZ, ITS NOT RREALLY home eh? can I take one of those gunny things as well?

  61. 61

    A masterful hachet job by someone who has a clue: http://www.kiwipolitico.com/2015/10/another-dog-and-pony-show/

    In any event what is clear is this. With the complicity of major media outlets, Mr. Key has added troop visits to his pandas and flags repertoire of diversions. In saying so I in no way mean to denigrate the work and sacrifice of the NZDF soldiers at Taji or downplay the difficulty of their mission. Nor do I discount the positive impact his visit has on the NZDF personnel deployed, or the diplomatic and symbolic overtones of it. I simply do not think that the visit was about the troops per se. Instead, I think that the trip was a propaganda exercise that was more about burnishing the PM’s image as well as softening up the NZ public for a possible announcement of future changes to the NZDF mission in Iraq (and Syria).

    It is a pity that none of those from the press gallery who were invited to join the PM on his meet-and-greet with the troops thought to wade through the fluff in order to cut to the chase of the matter. On the other hand, perhaps that is precisely why they were chosen.

    Imagine if Jon Stephenson had been on that trip. I am willing to bet that not only would his reporting have been very different, but it would have set the tone for the entire group to be a little more serious in their scrutiny of the event. Then again, pigs will fly before such a thing ever happens.

  66. 66

    Tell me soldier :Do I look like Macarthur
    Soldier; dead pan : Bite my fuckin lip jez get me out of here you’re making us a target

  67. 67

    Oh my deluxe PM selfie stick, nearly forgot that, thank you scum bag funky…
    Now when will I be Photo Bombed?
    Oh don’t worry Sir, you will be Bombed!
    Excellent!

  69. 69

    i know it doesn’t look much yet..but when I get them to vote the new flag in…………..you will have something to run up it…

  70. 70

    Oh, Judith your joking? I know we are close..yet there is no fecking way I am shuving that up yr or my *****…..Jesus Woman that’s disgusting!

  71. 71

    Ok, Bear, your telling me that when you were with Barack…you did Penis Shaking? Ok dokey,,,Lets do it,,and don’t let it be said i don’t do anything for my country!

  72. 72

    Nats Fund Raising Fancy Dress Party, got off to a bad start for John……
    No Sir……You have put the padded bra on the outside & upside down!

  73. 73

    Ok,,,How comes everyone else gets a semi automatic weapon, lots of grenades and a rocket launcher and your trying to palm me off with a pointy stick?
    Well, Sir, even in your Army,,we never give out arms to minors or the incompetent….

  74. 74

    Nat Cabinet on Boys Night Out….OK, which of you Bastards just shot that fucking Panda..Its took me agessssssssss to get that!

  76. 76

    You see Sir, we are going to bury, the full terms, conditions and selling off South Island in our sell out, I mean TPPA agreement treaty..right here , where I point the stick of destiny PM!

    Oh Excellent Idea… No one will ever know sir……..

  77. 77

    Richie? Are you sure that even YOU, can get away with this, on the Pitch?
    Isn’t using arms in a game of rugby called cheating?

    McCaw to PM…..You Liberal ********

  78. 78

    I don’ care if you are the General In Charge of Our Forces here…….

    Will you stop using that feather duster on my manhood!

  81. 81

    “U would like me to conduct the singing of the national anthem and hold up the flag!! ? Jez get some guts Im trying to change all that”

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