Caption Contest

Written By: notices and features - Date published: - 87 comments
Categories: caption contest, humour, john key - Tags:

John Key Simon Bridges biking

87 comments on “Caption Contest”

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    1. 1.1

      Agree! Is that the *protection squad* bringing up the rear. What a hoot. Bet they’re embarrassed.

    1. 4.1

      “Looks like I’m about to expect a knock on my door from Mr. Key to have a conversation about Jesus.”

      ^^ That one has 243 likes on facebook.

  14. 14

    “Look, you’re told not to put your thumbs around the steering wheel to avoid broken thumbs, so what’s the diff?”

  15. 15

    I laughed so hard when reading your captions that Miss 12 was worried for my sanity. Too witty you lot 😀

  17. 17

    “Wait until they find out how much MBIE paid for all these matching bikes that’ll be used only once”

  18. 18

    Key: Only another couple of years, Simon, and we’ll take off your training wheels.

    Or:

    Bridges: (Thinks) I wonder if he’d like me more if I took the helmet off and let the breeze blow through my hair?

  22. 22

    New Zealand launches it’s first ever Tour de France team and it will be managed by ex-Champion Lance Armstrong. Armstrong says they were looking for riders with questionable ethics, large egos and a win at all costs mentality. The team basically selected themselves he said.

  23. 23

    How the ride John?
    pity I couldnt afford this when I wanted to go to Christs or should I say afford to have mum declare our fortune while she was on a benefit
    It wouldnt have boded well for my future ambitions if I had I suppose
    Self deprecating sod
    men of false humility on a shaky ride

  24. 24

    Nah! I can’t think of a caption ..but sickening to think that average kiwis voted yet again for these ridiculous,publicity seeking photo opportunist, duplicitous disneyland dick heads…a few more adjectives but can’t be bothered. grrrr!

  25. 25

    and the subject on the right provides an example of how an ill-fitting cycle helmet causes the condition of ‘swell-headedness’. Please note that neither the poorly fitted helmet nor the swell-headedness, despite appearing to allow for more air space around the brain, will protect you if you fall while riding a high horse.

    1. 25.1

      No-one is riding a horse, it’s about the 300 million dollars, isn’t it? That they are wasting on cycle lanes, while kids starve?

      1. 25.1.1

        No? Cycleways = more growth! more jobs! we need a bigger pie! rising tide lifts all boats! more strivers, fewer shirkers! That’s they way to solve poverty, not a piddly 300mil in the back pocket. Those in poverty don’t seem to appreciate the taxpayers money the get!

        Some people are riding some very high horses called Arrogance and Contempt (imo).

  28. 28

    Ok you guys, I checked the route the other day,,,in a wee bit we will come across two twats laying on the road……If you don’t run over them your sacked,,,,,,follow me!

  32. 32

    Look at that fellas…I told you Paula had hidden talents,,,,,,See that wheelie and slam into those unemployed people…You cant buy talent like that.

  37. 37

    Whats these levers on the handle bar?
    Its ok PM you wont need those, as we have detached the chain and they wont be of any use when we go down that huge hill!

  38. 38

    Whats happened to the children Judith stole these off..
    They are ok PM,,,Shes got them making cheap sneakers in an under ground dungeon…
    Oh well that’s ok then

  40. 40

    Judith Judith give me your answer doooooooo, I am halfffffffffffffff crazyyyyy oh for the lust of you!

  41. 41

    When i was at Goldman Sachs we used to get free Porsches for ripping off investors…..I suppose this will have to do,,,,,,,,

  42. 42

    This will have to do,,,,The USA has The Blue Eagles,,,The Uk The Red Arrows….
    The peasants should just be grateful!
    Ok on my command,,,,,,,unload the black and white spray and looopppp the looop

  47. 47

    Well Simon,,,,when you asked me along for a communal ride, i must say initially I was disappointed

  48. 48

    Ok,,,ahead you see her? last one to get there and pull that ladies ponytail…..gets fired and has to speak to Colin Craig!

  49. 49

    Well PM its taken over 50 odd years of in depth practice …..yet you have just about mastered this

  51. 51

    Stop grumbling, Simon.

    Those BMWs were way too excessive for a government that is preaching social and fiscal responsibility. We’re asking Kiwi mums and dads to tighten their belts, and its only fair that we do the same.

    I sold the Beemas to those nice Australians who took all our old state houses off our hands. They told me even though they’d been used, they still had a value, probably for parts. So, we didn’t get much for them, but we were able to buy these brand new bikes without risking our 2017 potential surplus.

  52. 52

    PM, takes the lead in testing the prototype inflatable head gear air bag….
    Right PM,,,You just ram right into the wall at full pelt, ok?
    This will work wont it?…..ermm

  54. 54

    No Simon….You all have to wear the black ones……Me as PM and alpha male gorilla……I get to wear the silverback one!

    This you will learn grasshopper.

  55. 55

    That was rather pleasant Simon, how many people did we run over at that last pedestrian crossing?

  56. 56

    PM auditions for Easy Rider Two!

    Get your motor running..
    head out on the highway..
    looking for adventure..
    and what ever comes our way….
    Yeah darling going to make it happen…
    Take the world in a love embrace
    Fire all of your guns at once
    And explode into space

    I like smoke and lightning
    Heavy metal thunder
    Racin’ with the wind
    And the feelin’ that I’m under

    Yeah Darlin’ go make it happen
    Take the world in a love embrace
    Fire all of your guns at once
    And explode into space

    Like a true nature’s child
    We were born, born to be Mild
    We can climb so high
    I never wanna die

    Born to be Mild
    Born to be Mild

  57. 57

    Are we there yet?
    No!
    Are we there yet?
    No
    Are we there yet?

    NO PM we aren’t!and you cant go to the toilet again!!!!

  62. 62

    ”Look, that’s not a grimace and at the end of the day I’m relaxed and comfortable despite my sore butt”

  63. 63

    ‘Where the bloody hell are the Cabinet girls, Bridges? I would love to see Jude race Benne! What a hoot! Wonder who would win!”

  65. 65

    Batman and Robin so concerned about Climate Change that they leave the Batmobile at the Batcave.

  69. 69

    Hit the road John and don’t cha come back
    No more no more no more no more
    Hit the road John and don’t cha come back
    No more

  70. 70

    MBIE’s new “indoor park” so huge it requires bikes to get around. “It’s a prudent use of taxpayers money”, John Key said on his inspection tour. “And the MBIE hair straighteners are so good for dealing with that annoying helmet hair”, he added. MBIE are looking at installing an unusual waterfall feature in the near future, using the increasing amounts of unsold milk now cluttering supermarket fridges.

  71. 71

    Simple Simon met a Pieman going to a fair
    Said Simple Simon to the Pieman What have you got there
    Nothing for you you still owe me for the fuck up of the Northland by-election .

  74. 74

    Simon says, “Dear very honourabble Prime Minister, if you eye any passing pony tails, do keep your hands firmly around your handle! We don’t want any more trouble, do we!”

  76. 76

    Key to Northland voters : “How many bridges have you seen?”
    Answer: “Just the one!.., but crooked and shaky with lots of water flowing below…and Oh, crikey, the entire thing is now stinking like tĂŒtae i tou nono! Yuk”

  77. 77

    I’m glad they supplied ladies bikes for this photo op Simon, I have trouble getting my leg over these days.

  78. 78

    I think you should have taken the polystyrene packaging out of the inside of your helmet Prime Minister before strapping it on. But I haven’t received any advice on that yet Simon.

  80. 80

    A few years ago there was a very popular disco song in E Africa about a chicken in platform shoes riding a bicycle all over the country (Kenya). It was called Fagilia by Mr Nice.

    Perhaps this is what these two are singing while they look for Northland’s famed two lane bridges.

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