The normal rules apply. Ā Keep it seemly …
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The Power and The Passion
Oh, sweety, you are poor? Here, love, have a candy cane for Christmas! See, I care!
Just don’t come into a WINZ office in the New Year for a dental grant!
Ahaa you lot. The ladder’s gone. I got it all. You got nuttin.
“Getting booted out of your state house so we can sell it to property speculators? Here’s a candy cane”
“One for every child I pushed into poverty today”
Ha! There’s been a mistake; when I said I’d be caning the beneficiaries I meant something else altogether.
I’ve always got away with everything. Some get a caning but I’m sweet – this is the only cane I ever get.
Have you been good? Santa will give you a present. You bad lazy sods who can’t find work will get nothing.
See! I can handle the big financial jobs in government
I’m all decked out in the colours of the political parties who are actually going to do something about poverty.
“colours of the political parties”
She’s wearing the red, blue and black of the intended future uber betrayal govt (Labour neolibs, Nat, NZF), and the canes are the left of Labour and the GP about to get sucked into oblivion.
I cannot see any blue in her clothing.
Is that ideological blindness? š
(her top under the red over thingy is blue)
I read your comment.
I have got around to checking out why my computer made the top look black, using another computer I can see the deep blue.
enjoy them now because next year there wont be any lollies at all
Hello campers, hi de hi – hi de ho
Lols. So very apt. Madame Beenete missed her true calling.
I took them from a baby!
Let them eat candy!
Let them eat cake! What, at that price? Hahahaha cheap candy it is!
Look, I am just practicing what our own Pinocchio has taught us : How to sweetly smile and wave while still dishing out utter crap!
My friend Katharine Rich says this is a great way to get kids to eat greens !
“Sweetie — It’s 100% sugar with toxic artificial colouring and additives and it’s really twisted and it has a hook in it ! What more could you possibly want ?”
(Thus spake the ghost of Christmas past-its-due-by-date.)
sorry these are all …mine!
I’m a complete arsehole, but I’m a happy clappy one!! š
Hey kids! Christmas candy canes for sale!
“They gave me this full bowl of candy canes to hand out to the poor children but I’ve been here for a whole 10 minutes and no poor children have appeared. Oh well, guess I’ll have another !”
Hehehe; Let them eat candy canes…..
“This is the ONLY thing that the rich Chinese donors gave us. Honest!”
More government u-turns coming to you real soon.
You should have gone to Specsavers, Paula. You were told to get meat hooks. One for you, and one for each of your colleagues.
Winz announce incentive scheme to get the unemployed to move to the north pole.
Merry Fucking Christmas New Zealand
this. exactly this.
Nice!
It was so simple stealing this candy from those beneficiaries babies.
i am the mean christmas fairy
here to stop the kids being merry
no presents or turkey for bennies
WINZ will cut off your pennies!
it’s a bit of a laugh to me
and a chance to get on TV
LOL! @bennies cut off pennies. Ouch!
Trick or treat my treats are not very nourishing just covered in 100 % sugar.
Our next PM, promoting a corporate xmas. Because, if you mentioned that Christ wanted a society dedicated to a liberation theology – it might just all go pear shaped for the Tory scum.
“Its true you give out a few of these and they think you give a fuck”
“You better watch out
You better not lie
Like those loony lefties.
I’m telling you why
The SIS are coming to town
We’ll see you when you’re sleeping
We’ll know when you’re awake
We’ll hear every word you say
With this microphone candy cane”
“We sell off their state houses but fool them with some coloured candy to cope!”
I’ve got the goodies, now that Judith is out of the way.
Paula (to journalists): “Actually there’s a hilarious anecdote attached to this. As I was stealing this candy from the Children’s Hospital Ward just a few minutes ago, some little kid got visibly upset and all teary eyed. Well, you know me, I believe in Tough Love – so I was forced to tell her: “Zip it, Sweetie, these are all mine !!! Aunty Paula’s got a sweet tooth, Okay ?????”. Ha, ha, ha, I laugh about it now, but I mean the absolute, bare-faced arrogance of these little brats !!!”
The Grinch revealed after having full bodywax
Oh dear – so appropiate
OMG, why didn’t see it before ? Paula’s not the Grinch. That stare, those eyebrows…. Its Judith !!
Thats not ‘Paula the beneficiciary!’
Yes! It’s Paula ‘the Beneficiary’
“I am just about to go and feed our homeless!”
Everything I touch does this
bennett:..’why don’t benificiaries gt off their fat lazy arses..
..and make something like this..’?..’
bennett:..
‘..these are the staples that were used in my stomach-stapling op..’
bennett:..
‘..so..i said to them..’we don’t have poverty..because we don’t even measure poverty..!..
..it’s as easy as that..!’
..then we all had a good laugh..!’
bennett dreams of being leader..and does a pretend cabinet-shuffle..
This is all you poor people get this year from Bitchyfit
‘Suck on this, you poor suckers!”
Ha, ha! These are bitter! Tricked you, ha, ha!!
Auditions for Chitty Chitty Bang Bang The Sequel, produced a clear winner for the part of The Child Snatcher.
Christmas Tree at back “Christ, Father Christmas has really let himself go!”
Does this red suit make my left hand look really really over sized?
On Three Ms Bennet “Say Liposuctionnnnnn”
Bennett doles out surprising low dividends of the power companies sell off to the public.
Bennett says “Has anyone seen my balls?” Christmas tree responds ” We are behind youuuuuuuuuuuu!”
Bennett.”We are going to move those over sixties who live alone in two and three bedroom Housing N.Z.Homes,into one bedroom community housing clusters more suitable to their needs so we can give families accommodation suitable to them.
‘ITS SO EASY,ITS LIKE TAKING CANDY FROM A BABY”.
Let them eat candy
Advice to the poor:
Have some candy to feel more dandy!
You want to feel randy? Yep, have some candy!
We thought these new walking sticks for the disabled are a great idea. Like our health system they are cheap, impractical and won’t work but hey at least you get a short lived sugar fix. And maybe diabetes……
Eat your heart out Judith. JK is giving me all the photo opps now!
Don’t tell anyone, the last budget was heavily sugar coated, just like the candy canes.
Move Over Candy Crush’er there’s a new girl in town, introducing for her own pleasure “Candy Cane”
They have introduced zero contract hours for politicians, so I thought I would moonlight flogging off tooth rotting crap.
” I got these cariogenic Candy
From distant callipygous Burundi
‘Cause we have happily made Redundi
All of our very own good R & D !“
If you are living in pain
or your life savings were flushed down the drain
Let me offer you a candy cane
and a cardboard box to keep off the rain
The Gnats will let problems remain
unresolved, and rig the game
So the rich can take all the gains
while we laugh and drink champagne
Ho Ho Ho
Like stealing candy from a baby
Our next trick is to steal the baby from the Beneficiary.
Monitor them secretly for 24 hours (we wanted 48 hours but those commies in Labour reduced it to 24 hours). If they are deemed unworthy of our taxpayers dollars then we can confiscate the baby or the benefit or both!
It worked so well for those Abo’s in OZ and those dissident babes in Argentina.
That also solves the adoption program too!
Hey John, these hooks are just the thing to pull up ladders!
Your my winner š
” God has blessed you all poor sods
For you’ve survived amazing odds!
Rejoice in our gold star e-con-o-my
For you aren’t yet dead with me-lon-co-ly!
Give shouts of praise for Nats at Christmas time
For I’m dishing you out some candy time.
The chain stores and con-glom-er-ates
May have brought you to your knees;
Low wages, rent and living costs
May have caught you all in a squeeze;
But we still claim rich dudes are real poor
And you sorry lot are mightily rich!”
Let them eat candy.
Hunger Games
Need1 Greed 21
“Who ate all the candy?” Paula moves on from the pies.
My Halloween takings were well up. No costume this year, but scared the bejesus out of everyone by telling them I will be the next PM.