Caption contest

Written By: notices and features - Date published: - 93 comments
Categories: caption contest, national - Tags: ,

“MP’s ‘disgusting’ behaviour”
“Lawyer ‘unfairly tarnished’ by Gilmore”
key-gilmore

93 comments on “Caption contest”

Comment numbers have changed to permanent references. Older quoted numbers may no longer identify the same comment.

  9. 9

    “Aaron haven’t you learnt anything from me. You cannot have a brain fade when there were witnesses, dickhead!!!

  14. 14

    See John I’ve been practicing your “post telling a lie smile” for when I get to be PM

  15. 15

    Gilmore to Key: Don’t you know who I am?
    Key to Gilmore: I can’t quite remember whether I know who you are or not, I’ll have to check on that and get back to you, I mean I haven’t had time to read the document yet, something might or might not have been mentioned a few months ago, but I’m pretty relaxed that everything’s above board.

  18. 18

    “We want cake and fine wine. We want the finest wines known to humanity; we want them here and we want them now.”

    1. 19.1

      “Fuck’s sake John, you said it was ok to use your office to threaten plebs”

      “Did I Aaron? Probably just the piss talking”

            1. 19.2.1.1.1.1

              Nothing like a good falling out between “friends” on the same side of the fence and cultural experience!!

  24. 24

    Self-important, alcoholic born-to-rule arrogant National Party Christchurch fuckwit poses with…oh, hang on… um…..

  26. 26

    “If this picture doesn’t turn out well, I’ll get John to have you fired”

  27. 27

    1. “You may be PM of New Zealand John, but I’m the master of the f*cken universe.”

    2. “So I order another bottle of the best wine they’ve got, whatever that is, and this dickhead waiter says I’m too drunk, starts talking about the law and sh*t. So I says… Oh you heard about this John? What do you mean it’s on the news?”

    3. “So are you going to fire this waiter for me or what John? Bro wtf. My cred’s on the line here homie. You know I’m your dawg.”

    4. “I tried blaming someone else, I tried blaming the booze, I tried calling it a ‘misunderstanding’, but I’m still getting slammed. What should I do?…’Not bovvered about it.’ Oh sh*t that’s good thanks John.”

    5. “So how far up the list does this move me John? Or should I have done a Gerry Brownlee and assaulted the guy?”

  29. 29

    “Next up on Police 10-7, is Case #3. Two male pekeha are wanted in connection with thieving public state assets; public drunkeness; and habitual amnesia. They can be approached, but we wouldn’t recommend it. Remember, this is case #3 when you call 0800-d-i-c-k-h-e-a-d-s.”

  32. 32

    “You call that drunk, Aaron? Wait till you own a whole vinyard! Of course, I’ve had a blind drunk trust for years, as it happens. Never made the papers … coz I bought the journos off with vino from the vinyard I didn’t know I owned!”

    Ps, can I just say that Gilmore’s admission that his behaviour doesn’t meet John Key’s standards is the funniest thing about this whole affair? How low do you have to go to get that low?

    pps:

    “So Aaron, they tell me that we’ve got a lot in common”

    “Too right, John! We both love a styley suit and a shit eating grin, we both like a drop of the vino rouge and, um, we’ll both be unemployed next November.”

  33. 33

    Zeus: “Sit near Dionysus, my twice born son, not quite in my image but fruit of my loins none the less. Sit near and tell me what the silhouetted shape is that forms between our heads.”
    Dionysus: “Zeus, my god and father, even in my drunken state it is clear that it is a priapis”
    Zeus: “That makes three in this photo doesn’t it, the gods have spoken.”

  36. 36

    I used “dickhead” in the way John’s kids use it. I think it means gay, like a red shirt.

  37. 37

    dit dit dit …. in a surprise announcement the Prime Minister has today declared that he and one of his list MPs are engaged to be married….. dit

      1. 38.1.1

        Yeah but I thought it was funny today when I heard a few conversations about this and when some people asked who Aaron Gilmore was the answer was “you know that comedian guy” and words to that effect.

        I’m not sure which is worse people knowing who you are or people having absolutely no idea and thinking of the only Gilmour that pops into their head.

          1. 38.1.1.1.1

            They were referring to Ewen Gilmour

            http://www.ewengilmour.com/

            Makes sort of sense. Sounds similar, is a NZer and likely to be someone who drinks.

            Wonder how he would feel about being confused with a National Party wet blanket.

  40. 40

    Image approved for new business card run to assist future identification.

    Threat of sacking backfires and ends his own gravy train.

    Wine wash exposes true National Party characteristics.

  44. 44

    Key: “I told you not to hang out with honest people”
    Gilmore: “whoda thought the lawyer would turn out to be honest?”

  48. 48

    “All of them will take their cue from you. You show loyalty, they learn loyalty. You show them it’s about the work, it’ll be about the work. You show them some other kinda game, then that’s the game they’ll play.” – Lt. Daniels, the Wire.

  53. 53

    John “From now on you will have your own ‘Hey Clint’ every time you feel like going out and getting pissed & belittling the hired help”

  59. 59

    “Don’t you know who I am?”

    “yes, you’re a moron, a noddy, a dick head, a tosser…”

  60. 60

    “You want to be in the photo as well John?”

    “Dickhead, don’t you know who I am!”

    “When I’m prime Minister I’m going to get you sacked”.

  62. 62

    “No no no Aaron that’s being too obvious. You do the fake I’m really your average decent kiwi bloke smile like this”

  63. 63

    Gilmore: I am unable to be contacted at the moment due to having a make over, the suit is a start as it will blend in well when Parliament next sits, as I do not like all the attention lately.

  64. 64

    I had the biggest binge and blackout, mate, no I did have the biggest binge and blackout, PM!

    Competition of likeminded beer and wine lovers, I suppose, in stress to explain memory loss and worse case scenarios. Solidarity is ensured, like Nibelungen Faith, in this case!

  67. 67

    I should have taken a page from the Labour book of cover-ups and said “i have no recollection” of the events and it’s “time to move on”.

    Priceless.

  70. 70

    Key promotes one of the future bright young leaders of National, Aaron Gilmore from Dancing with the stars…

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