Caption Competition

Written By: notices and features - Date published: - 98 comments
Categories: caption contest

Conservative billboard cropped

The byline “just saying what everyone’s thinking” has echoes of Crosby Textor’s famous “are you thinking what we’re thinking” dog whistle campaign for the UK Conservatives in 2005.

Maybe the conservatives are getting CT advice.

98 comments on “Caption Competition”

Comment numbers have changed to permanent references. Older quoted numbers may no longer identify the same comment.

  1. 1

    I am thinking – what about Taoists, Shinto practitioners, Hindus, Jainists, Bahais, Pagans, Rastafarians, Zoroastrians and Muslims?

    1. 3.1

      “You gotta be able to pick out the easy Meat , with your eyes closed
      Like the club tie. and the firm handshake
      You have to be trusted by people that you lie to
      And as the fear grows, the Bad Blood grows and turns to stone”.

      1. 3.1.1

        “The Lunatics are on the grass…

        The paper holds their folded faces to the floor
        and everyday the paperboy brings more,”

  4. 4

    I doubt this was the smartest way to do it, but the Conservatives are often referred to as “the religious right” (or at least, NZ’s version of it), so it’s probably a smart move on their part to try and shake off that image.

    Won’t stop me voting Greens though.

  7. 7

    I notice that they don’t welcome Jews.

    I’ve seen people seriously labelled anti-Semitic for less than that.

      1. 7.1.1

        Yep. The statement is all about what was left out.

        Money buys consultant crafted speech in politics. A lot of money buys a lot of it.

        2. 7.1.1.2

          The statement is essentially defensive, buying into the prevailing impression of the Conservatives representing religious intolerance. In that sense it’s not great value for money.

          As Nixon once (allegedly) said “I know he doesn’t fuck pigs, just make the bastard deny it”.

  9. 9

    We welcome blah blah blah as long as they believe in:
    an NZ that does not challenge a cosy white middle class ascendancy.

    We welcome blah blah blah as long as they believe in:
    not asserting their identity.

    We welcome blah blah blah as long as they believe in:
    doffing their caps when Tories pass by,

  10. 10

    “This billboard by the Conservatives is the writing on the wall for John Key because it has been known for a long time he doesn’t give a fuck about NZ”

  11. 11

    Either Craig is not a Christian Conservative or NZ must truly be God Zone, then for, what Christian god would favour only the people of one country?

    Hebrews 11:16

    But as it is, they desire a better country, that is, a heavenly one. Therefore God is not ashamed to be called their God, for he has prepared for them a city.

  12. 12

    Conform!

    I can smell Orewa all over this one. Leaving out Islam is the giveaway; welcoming Muslims would be a step too far. It’s pitched to the UKIP section of the votosphere, the ‘why do they insist on speaking that lingo, they’re in NZ now’ types who think they’re the font of common sense and decency.

  13. 13

    Are we commenting on the sign that says ‘free shop open mainly clothes and books’? What a great community initiative! Or are we looking at the sign on the other end of the fence? – can’t quite read it.

      1. 13.2.1

        I mean the smaller sign on the fence, not the free-standing one that clearly says surplus. Can’t remember what the rest of the freestanding one says.

        1. 13.2.2.1

          I have a 10 Litre bucket of Electric Blue. Maybe I should go paint the board where someone took out Nathan useless Guy’s office window the other day. Yes a nice Blue background with Vote Labour in RED lol

  14. 14

    The Conservatives seem to have missed a bit off their poster, how re miss,
    “Wealthy Martians & Sir Bob Jones Clones Are More Than Welcome.!”

  16. 16

    The New Zealand Conservative Party..A bunch of racist right wing nutcases with the lowest common denominator thinking and nothing of any relevance to say.

    JUST SAYING WHAT EVERYONE ELSE IS THINKING.

    4. 16.4

      deep indeed. Not. I look forward to voting for the lovely Conservatives next yearr. at least they have a kindness to them and a true let’s take the people with us, democratic, listen to the people on all issues, vision.

      1. 16.4.1

        kindness? Not if you’re Maori, gay, a battered child, or hoping for some relief from the damages done by a resource-depleted, climate changed world.

      2. 16.4.2

        A bunch of right-wing racist sexist nutcases? You’ll vote for them on the strength that they talk nicely (which as Lanthanide pointed out, they don’t)?

        I’m guessing you’re not that interested in politics.

  17. 17

    “John Key must be getting desperate”

    JUST SAYING WHAT EVERYONE ELSE IS THINKING.

    Dunne is Done

    JUST SAYING WHAT EVERYONE ELSE IS THINKING.

    Banks is yesterday’s man

    JUST SAYING WHAT EVERYONE ELSE IS THINKING.

    2. 17.2

      Labour couldn’t organise a piss-up in a brewery

      JUST SAYING WHAT EVERYONE ELSE IS THINKING.

      I hope a white boy asks out Hone Harawira’s daughter

      JUST SAYING WHAT EVERYONE ELSE IS THINKING.

      Russel Norman should head home to Australia

      JUST SAYING WHAT EVERYONE ELSE IS THINKING.

      I think the Conservatives might be onto something with this campaign. Now I just need to convince my wife not to vote for them!

  18. 18

    Oh if you look too the left of the Billboard, if you squint a tad, can you see that car? There is no way it’s going to pass its warrent of fitness, ironically a bit like the billboards message! Look down another wee sign, “Surplus”…Well that sums up the Conservative Party.

    JUST THINKING WHAT EVERY ONE ELSE IS THINKING!
    ThisisnotasubliminalmessageandvaguelylegalnudgepolticsyetstufftheConservatives.

  20. 20

    The message in the poster distinguishes between the “we” and the “they.” The “they” are described as Atheists, Buddhists and Christians. Who are the “we” that I am supposed to be part of?

  22. 22

    (in a caption-free thread..)

    ..can i ask if anyone has an explanation for why craigs’ pupils are often the size of saucers..?

    ..(swallowing his whites..as it were..)

    ..is it just over-excitement..?..

    ..or a thyroid-condition..?

    ..it makes him look like a demented alien..

    ..phillip ure..

  23. 23

    “..we welcome bigots/racists/homophobes/poor-bashers/climate-change-deniers..

    ..all those intolerant of others.

    ..as long as they believe ..

    ..in a white/christian new zealand..where everyone knows their place..(especially wimmen and maaris..)

    saying all that sad-arse old-skool bad-shit your crazy old uncle spews when drunk..vote conservative..”

    phillip ure..

  24. 24

    That sign must have gone up very recently, maybe today? I drove past on Saturday and I’m pretty sure it wasn’t there then.

      1. 24.1.1

        Why put up the billboard in Christchurch?

        Btw, what is Former National Front leader Kyle Chapman up to these days?
        http://tvnz.co.nz/national-news/thugs-say-debate-stunt-warning-new-zealand-4560131

        Is Kooky Craig preparing early for the annual RWR march?
        http://www.stuff.co.nz/the-press/news/8457819/Counter-protest-against-racism

        Kooky needs to appreciate serious potential consequences of dog-whistling and waking up racist sleeping dogs.
        http://www.nzherald.co.nz/nz/news/article.cfm?c_id=1&objectid=10641595

        1. 24.1.1.1

          “Everybody talking to their pockets
          Everybody wants a box of chocolates
          And a long-stemmed rose…”

          -Cohen / Robinson

      1. 24.2.1

        Here’s the Street View, of their previous livery. Can see where the billboard is though: http://goo.gl/maps/eGaF9 if you go left 1 click you can see it from the same perspective as this photo: notice the beige building in the background with the straggly tree in front.

        Satellite view shows an empty lot with the billboard. Opposite Mad Butcher, Couplands, Harvest Market.

        According to the electorate map, that section is actually in Christchurch Central, but the opposite side of the road is Port Hills.

        1. 24.2.1.1

          The nearest point of CHCH East is actually 2.25km further up Ensors/Aldwins/Buckleys road. So not really sure why they have a billboard that big that far away from CHCH East. I’ve seen other ones for ACT nearby too.

  26. 26

    “Just saying what everyone’s thinking”

    That’s what idiots said about Paul Henry….

    and no I’m not thinking it’s time to smack the kids.

    1. 26.1

      “Sometimes you wanna take you Down
      Take you down, let the river flow
      The fruit is rusting on the vine
      The fruit is calling from the trees” 😎

  27. 27

    might be quite the evil little plan going on, with the conservatives, christine rankin is in the party. i just watched a doco ‘david frost on satire’ & it was really interesting because the message was the pollys that got the most piss taken out of them got a lot of publicity themselves out of it, it kind of shaped how the public saw them, but in a good comic way. when i saw colin craig on tv tonight, i thought ‘he’s a satirists dream’. if the nats/cons got the became govt, that could be quite a scary, key, craig, collins & rankin!

  28. 28

    We welcome x, y and z as long as they (like you) believe what we (you) believe. And if they don’t, we believe our god wouldn’t be averse to us (you) getting into some right righteous smiting. Just saying…

  29. 29

    Long division answer Colin:
    “I tell you the truth, the son can do nothing by himself; he can do only what he sees his Father doing, because what ever the Father does the Son also does. For the Father loves the Son and shows him all he does. Yes, to your amazement he will show him even greater things than these. For just as the Father raises the dead and gives them life, even so the Son gives life to whom he is pleased to give it. Moreover, the Father judges no one, but has entrusted all judgement to the Son, that all may honour the son just as they honour the Father. He who does not honour the Son does not honour the Father, who sent him.”
    “No one come to the Father except through me”.

    John: (you are very welcome for the touch-up Colin and followers).

  31. 31

    It’s gotta be a Crosby T stunt or designed by whoever it was that did the ‘kiwi-iwi’ billboards.

    National’s ‘Bitter/brighter future’ billboards will seem milder and more appealing after these.

  34. 34

    Huffington Post examines 9 Jesus sayings about the poor
    Today’s news is full of speculation and debate about the national debt, taxes and potential cuts to vital programs that serve those in need. However, the conversation often seems overly caught up in the minutiae of politics and media coverage rather than the real people that these decisions affect.

    Luke 6:20-21 Then he looked up at his disciples and said: ‘Blessed are you who are poor, for yours is the kingdom of God. ‘Blessed are you who are hungry now, for you will be filled. ‘Blessed are you who weep now, for you will laugh.

    Luke 4:16-19 When he came to Nazareth, where he had been brought up, he went to the synagogue on the sabbath day, as was his custom. He stood up to read, and the scroll of the prophet Isaiah was given to him. He unrolled the scroll and found the place where it was written:

    ‘The Spirit of the Lord is upon me, because he has anointed me to bring good news to the poor. He has sent me to proclaim release to the captives and recovery of sight to the blind, to let the oppressed go free, to proclaim the year of the Lord’s favour.’

    Matthew 25:34-36 Then the king will say to those at his right hand, “Come, you that are blessed by my Father, inherit the kingdom prepared for you from the foundation of the world; for I was hungry and you gave me food, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you welcomed me, I was naked and you gave me clothing, I was sick and you took care of me, I was in prison and you visited me.”

    Mark 10:21-22 Jesus, looking at him, loved him and said, “You lack one thing; go, sell what you own, and give the money to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven; then come, follow me.” When he heard this, he was shocked and went away grieving, for he had many possessions.

    Mark 12:41-44 He sat down opposite the treasury, and watched the crowd putting money into the treasury. Many rich people put in large sums. 42 A poor widow came and put in two small copper coins, which are worth a penny. 43 Then he called his disciples and said to them, “Truly I tell you, this poor widow has put in more than all those who are contributing to the treasury. 44 For all of them have contributed out of their abundance; but she out of her poverty has put in everything she had, all she had to live on.”

    Luke 14:12-14 He said also to the one who had invited him, “When you give a luncheon or a dinner, do not invite your friends or your brothers or your relatives or rich neighbors, in case they may invite you in return, and you would be repaid. But when you give a banquet, invite the poor, the crippled, the lame, and the blind. And you will be blessed, because they cannot repay you, for you will be repaid at the resurrection of the righteous.”

    Luke 16:19-25 “There was a rich man who was dressed in purple and fine linen and who feasted sumptuously every day. And at his gate lay a poor man named Lazarus, covered with sores, who longed to satisfy his hunger with what fell from the rich man’s table; even the dogs would come and lick his sores. The poor man died and was carried away by the angels to be with Abraham. The rich man also died and was buried.

    In Hades, where he was being tormented, he looked up and saw Abraham far away with Lazarus by his side. He called out, ‘Father Abraham, have mercy on me, and send Lazarus to dip the tip of his finger in water and cool my tongue; for I am in agony in these flames.’ But Abraham said, ‘Child, remember that during your lifetime you received your good things, and Lazarus in like manner evil things; but now he is comforted here, and you are in agony.

    Luke 11:39-42 Then the Lord said to him, “Now you Pharisees clean the outside of the cup and of the dish, but inside you are full of greed and wickedness. You fools! Did not the one who made the outside make the inside also? So give for alms those things that are within; and see, everything will be clean for you. “But woe to you Pharisees! For you tithe mint and rue and herbs of all kinds, and neglect justice and the love of God

    Luke 12:16-21 Then he told them a parable: “The land of a rich man produced abundantly. And he thought to himself, ‘What should I do, for I have no place to store my crops?’ Then he said, ‘I will do this: I will pull down my barns and build larger ones, and there I will store all my grain and my goods. And I will say to my soul, ‘Soul, you have ample goods laid up for many years; relax, eat, drink, be merry.’ But God said to him, ‘You fool! This very night your life is being demanded of you. And the things you have prepared, whose will they be?’ So it is with those who store up treasures for themselves but are not rich toward God.“

  37. 37

    My vote for post of the day goes to bill for

    “We welcome x, y and z as long as they (like you) believe what we (you) believe. And if they don’t, we believe our god wouldn’t be averse to us (you) getting into some right righteous smiting. Just saying…”

  38. 38

    Apparently the top priority for many New Zealanders is the right to beat your children, something Colin Craig is determined to restore for ‘good’ parents everywhere.

    And deny climate change, deny treaty claims, lock criminals up for ever, work for the dole (how is that even a thing?!) The marriage equality bill was a failure of democracy too. Clearly a better new zealand means a party polling 2% gets to tell the rest of us what’s best for us.

    Interestingly he’s opposed to asset sales… That’s the only interesting thing.

    A better NZ for these types of people hardly seems like a better NZ for me.

  39. 39

    Hey great if everyone thinks the same.
    we are all homogeneous then and much easier to control if we dont have independent viewpoints .

  40. 40

    “We welcome white people (with Asian religions), white people (with Jewish religions), and white people (with no religion). Just provided you’re not dancing a powhiri for a visiting dignitary”.

    1. 40.1

      Colin Craig’s Christmas Stockings (see-through denier)
      Dear Santa, could we please return to not sparing the rod on our children, have only men and wimmen marry , cease all Treaty Claims, and seeing as I’ve been a really good boy, could you please, please realign the planets, cos it’s getting really hot down here.
      CC (corny chips).

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