Media prepare to meet with the PM yesterday:
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“Do you think our pony tails will be safe with those measures?”
So we know who’s got a hair fetish, but who’s got the foot fetish?
John Key started getting a bad feeling when he realised that the press corps were apparently expecting some interesting developments from National’s next caucus meeting…
John said trichophilia isn’t contagious…. Pffft
“Why are we wearing these suits” says the man with the beard.
“It helps keep s the shit off our clothes when the puller opens his mouth”
Replays the tall guy.
” PM about to receive copy of Dirty Politics”
journalism students visit Whaleoil office suite
“If you think this is bad, wait till you see the preventative measures the Queen’s put in place for when Key meets the new royal baby”.
“oh, they are hairnets Prime Minister. We are having a Coronation St tribute and everyone came as ena sharples.”
https://www.google.co.nz/url?sa=i&rct=j&q=&esrc=s&source=images&cd=&cad=rja&uact=8&ved=0CAcQjRw&url=http%3A%2F%2Fcoronationstreet.wikia.com%2Fwiki%2FEna_Sharples&ei=K-NKVdv8FaLCmwX-gIHICA&bvm=bv.92765956,d.dGY&psig=AFQjCNEQq5xaLmTo6FYlsazLRPzlMMoLyQ&ust=1431057586850129
national caucus don their anti-ponytail-pulling gear…
..prior to/preparing for – the arrival of key..
John Key and uncovered ponytails, why risk it…
circa 2035..
(after ‘the great arctic-methane explosion’ – in 2023 – made being permanently ‘inside’ compulsory..)
..citizens prepare to go outside into a climatechange ravaged environment..
National’s answer to elective surgery.
http://gordoncampbell.scoop.co.nz/2015/05/07/gordon-campbell-on-the-token-boost-to-elective-surgery/
Looks like the donkey doo is going to hit the fan if someone pulls his tail.
Urgent emergency memo from management to staff :
‘Attention EVERY one ! : Dear staff, please make absolutely sure to cover your hair securely today because we have been given notice that a notorious Parnell Hair Puller in a very high government position will be visiting our premises at any time during the day. Please do take care. Health and safety is very important for us. Thank you’
media prepare to record bachelor climax
Journalists could not be accused of nitpicking in their interviews of the PM yesterday.
Ninth floor Beehive staff prepare for the return of King Key
Message to MSM: Judith Collins does not believe in a bloodless coup so it could get messy.
‘fyi, the hare opration will b done quikly lke lightnning by famous slick oprator’
It’s Budget Time, guys, and after 30+ years of waiting, there’s sure to be some Trickle-Down effect this year.
So, lett’s prepare ourselves.
“No worries … I’ll get Billy Boy to sell off the hairnets”
Reporter One: “Dude, remember the good ol’ days when writing anything positive about Key was a safe bet”.
Reporter Two: “Yeah, he always protected us journo’s, but now the teflon’s worn off, the shit sticks to everything”.