Caption competition

Written By: notices and features - Date published: - 82 comments
Categories: caption contest, john key - Tags:

key-throwing-sausage
 
WTF?

82 comments on “Caption competition”

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  1. 1

    Proudly showing off national’s achievement in solving the housing crisis, Ta daa, a door. Elect us, and over the course of the next three years, we’re aspirational we might have a wall to go with it.

    or

    After the peoples republic seized power. ‘It is a far, far better rest that I go to than I have ever known, as I walk in to the crushinator of destiny’.

  14. 14

    Key throws down another wrongun

    “Im singing in the drain, just singing in the drain, what a glorious awning, im campaigning again

  16. 16

    And you stare at me
    In your Jesus Christ pose
    Arms held out
    Like you’ve been carrying a load
    And you swear to me
    You don’t want to be my slave
    But you’re staring at me
    Like I need to be saved
    In your Jesus Christ pose
    Arms held out
    In your Jesus Christ pose
    Thorns and shroud
    Like it’s the coming of the Lord
    And I swear to you
    That I would never feed you pain
    But you’re staring at me
    Like I’m driving the nails
    In your Jesus Christ pose
    And you stare at me
    In your Jesus Christ pose
    Arms held out like it’s
    The coming of the Lord
    And would it pay you more to walk on water
    Than to wear a crown of thorns
    It wouldn’t pain me more to bury you rich
    Than to bury you poor
    In your Jesus Christ pose

  17. 17

    “Bennett ? ” The PM was asked

    “yeah its like throwing sausage into a shipping container”

    He replied

  18. 18

    Two great quotes from Richie Benaud work well

    “The key thing was to learn the value of economy with words and to never insult the viewer by telling them what they can already see.”

    “Captaincy is 90 per cent luck and 10 per cent skill. But don’t try it without that 10 per cent.”

  25. 25

    It’s not true that Judith Collins has me by the nuts. Look, I’ve got them right here in my hand.

  30. 30

    Hello Nuwzlund! Come and see my sausage sizzle!
    .
    .
    .

    [Now or never!]
    .
    .
    .

    [Final clearance in 25 days…at the end of the day!]

  37. 37

    Ok first batch of illegals, poor, vulnerable,first home buyers,single mothers dispatched to Nauru……next 500 to be squeezed into container please….move to the back!

  40. 40

    Ok I will distract the press with my miming impression…..Collins, Bennet, stay in the dustbins and don’t come out till the election is over!

  43. 43

    At the new national government policy of stone the poor,,,, Emperor Keys was unsure to give the thumbs up or perhaps the thumbs down? decisions decisions he thought.

  45. 45

    Keys pointed the way to Chinese delegation to buy the whole of the south island,,,after he put their poor into the shipping container.

  46. 46

    As Labour had no access to SIS info on their opponents,,,Cunliffe and Goff resorted to hiding in bins to listen to Keys,,and hoped the red topped bin would not give game away.

  49. 49

    With new govt cutbacks to the New Zealand armed forces,,,,,,Keys proudly showed off the remaining military personnel left,,,,whilst he threw the new stealth hand grenade……..

  50. 50

    Fella at back of in portacom…ok,,,I have enough of that poseur….fellas fill those bins with ice cold water and pour it over him..that way he might go away.

  55. 55

    Nothing to see here….move along move..We are just putting the stockpiles on that awkward book into the shipping container……..Now move along.

  56. 56

    ‘Those feral buggers in Christchurch are forever whinging about their housing problems. Send this lousy container to one of the scum. That will teach them!’

    ‘Meat is expensive, they say? Let them eat sausage! Look at me! And that will learn them!’

  61. 61

    Disgraced outgoing PM John Key feeds his poor as mystery man lights his pants on fire.

    And in other news: Does anyone know if One News is going to be releasing data from Vote Compass on average voter position relative to party position pre election? If the issue specific stuff they have released so far is anything to go by I think it might help some people wake up, have the confidence to vote on policy and help change the government.

    Disclaimer: I know it is unlikely he would ever actually feed his poor.

  63. 63

    Key throws bbq left overs to rabbid press!
    to try and contain the bad news!
    before the door shuts on his corrupt political career!

  66. 66

    John key proves to the press he has solved the problem of the homeless and starving in New Zealand by tossing in a piece of half eaten sausage he no longer wants to those people he has moved into a set of old rusty shipping containers rented to them by a family trust partly belonging to his wife and children.

  75. 75

    In response to the revelations about the links between the Right Wing Whale Oil blogsite and the National Party, John Key stands at the door of a well known centrist website and tries to throw mud at it.

  76. 76

    Yes I think I think I have created a new CARGO CULT out of the NZ voter
    They still believe my Trickledown bullshit is real

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