Caption competition

Written By: notices and features - Date published: - 52 comments
Categories: bill english, budget 2013, caption contest - Tags:

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52 comments on “Caption competition”

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  2. 2

    Three million extra for Wanganui Collegiate, $5 million less for research into Kauri dieback, cuts to decile one school budgets, boy I love being Minister of Finance …

  4. 4

    Oooh look, they put in a few token buns and sausages for decile one schools. That should keep em quiet. We can always remove em after the election citing project failure…

    1. 6.1

      …. or, like those old IBM manuals:
      “this page intentionally left blank”
      befitting the ‘we have no idea’ theme

  8. 8

    Bill English reads Charles Dickens.

    “Child as he was, he was desperate with hunger, and reckless with misery. He rose from the table; and advancing to the master, basin and spoon in hand, said: somewhat alarmed at his own temerity:

    ‘Please, sir, I want some more.’ “

  9. 9

    And if this shit fails again I’ll just increase the petrol tax some more, I’m a genius even if the eyebrow surgery make me look otherwise.

  13. 13

    “The blue bus, is callin’ us
    The blue bus is callin’ us
    Driver where you takin’ us

    Lost in a Roman…wilderness of pain
    Waiting for the summer rain, yeah

    In a… desperate land

    C’mon baby, take a chance with us.”

  14. 14

    Halfway through the book catch-up renders the page unreadable and finally brings some happiness.

    Blank page confirms brighter future.

  16. 16

    “Well done boys, it looks awesome. So someone’s going to put words and numbers and stuff on the pages later right?”

  18. 18

    Once upon a time, there was a paradise in the South Pacific, wisely and fairly ruled by emperor John, with his right hand man, Bill of the Skewed Books….

  21. 21

    Wow the printers here do good work. Pity they are all out of work next year, gotta make that surplus.

  22. 22

    *Insert random line from 50 shades of grey*

    Now get that thought out of your minds… 🙂

  24. 24

    English: “Gee, I really made it, it is all there in print, like in Hans Christian Andersen land, I am a competent fairy tale writer (and speaker)!”

    Next come also tales like “Hansel and Gretel” and the rest of it, and we will all be fine off, living off the bread dropping down our chimneys at night, same as Father Christmas delivers his filled socks and stockings of endless goodies!

    Ahem, “goodies” for the “deserving” that is! Not dole bludging hangers on we hate.

  26. 26

    KEY RESIGNS

    [lprent: I wish.. in fact, lets put the size from xtasy’s capitals here and inflate it. Funny capitals I can live with… ]

    1. 31.1

      Looks like he forgot to put his false teeth in. If he finds them they’ll need knocking out for putting 3000 state tenants on the streets.

  38. 38

    “..look..!..this is where i give them the ‘surplus-bullshit..

    ..they are too dumb to know that our current account deficit is the worst in the oecd..

    ..so that any claims of ‘surplus’..really is just an accounting trick..and really is ‘bullshit’..”

    phillip ure..

  40. 40

    “..and then the wicked/evil finance minister snatched the food away from the waiting hungry children..

    ..and he laughed..oh..!..how he laughed..”

    ..phillip ure..

  43. 43

    Wait … it says here that we’re going to be buying beer every week for the govt typesetters smoko ….

  45. 45

    “Hekia, please help me out. What are these words: S-o-c-i-a-l r-e-s-p-o-n-s-i-b-i-l-t-y? and what about this other word: “h-o-n-e-s-t-y”… You do’nt know either? It must mean we failed to achieve national standards?”

    “No, Bill, those words don’t appear in our manifesto or belief system. So you don’t need to know their meaning.”

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