The Standard

humour

Categories under humour

Caption contest

Written By: - Date published: 12:31 pm, March 27th, 2009 - 57 comments

2296230jpg

Three strikes and you’re garrotted

Written By: - Date published: 12:10 pm, March 23rd, 2009 - 16 comments

The Toad’s ‘interview’ with ACT’s David Garrett is so good we had to steal it. Like all good parody, it’s easy to believe it could be real. An interview with ACT Party Law and Order spokesperson David Garrotte Toad: David, for many people, you first came to public attention when you appeared drunk on Eye […]

Sunday conspiracy humour

Written By: - Date published: 8:04 pm, March 22nd, 2009 - 17 comments

Barnsley Bill* has discovered (updated to here**) that Alexa reckons 11% of our visits come from India. Apparently BB thinks this means we are paying someone in India to fake our stats. This has ignited another round of hysteria among the rightwing nutters (commonly known as wingnuts) about The Standard. There has been a recurring […]

ACC killed Kennedy says Smith

Written By: - Date published: 6:39 pm, March 14th, 2009 - 18 comments

Fresh on the heels of allegations ACC has blown-out and is likely to decimate New Zealand’s credit rating, Accident Compensation Minister Nick Smith has revealed he has evidence of the public insurance scheme’s involvement in the assassination of loved American President John F. Kennedy. The revelations were announced by Smith in select committee late this […]

Key’s to-do list

Written By: - Date published: 11:30 am, March 13th, 2009 - 12 comments

Daily show vs CNBC

Written By: - Date published: 3:32 pm, March 12th, 2009 - 17 comments

Last week, Jon Stewart poked fun at the media who cheer-led the housing and stockmarket bubbles and are now blaming the people who took on subprime mortgages for the financial crisis. They bit back with hilarious results. Jon is interviewing Cramer today, it will screen Friday night here on C4.

Worth a thousand words

Written By: - Date published: 5:35 am, March 6th, 2009 - 68 comments

Helps if it’s pointing the right way, too. Great work Adders.

Democracy and the BOFH, Jonkey, and S92A preparations

Written By: - Date published: 5:59 pm, March 4th, 2009 - 53 comments

Reply is a feature that accidentally got turned on last week when I had a adware/malware outbreak through a security hole (those buggers are smart and fast). I did complete reinstall with updated software. Somewhere during the upgrade, the reply feature was turned on. Now I’ve been occupied by moving house for the first time […]

Speculation laffs

Written By: - Date published: 2:08 pm, March 4th, 2009 - 2 comments

Funny because it’s true

Written By: - Date published: 2:00 pm, March 2nd, 2009 - 18 comments

This has to be the funniest political cartoon I’ve seen in some time, and it’s true too.  The innovation we need has to be government-led. A Green New Deal. Not only to boost the economy by constructing new infrastructure but constructing useful infrastructure. Forget cycleways no-one will use, we need to build a greener infrastructure based on renewable energy, […]

A component of a component

Written By: - Date published: 4:14 pm, February 26th, 2009 - 12 comments

A regular reader of The Standard, Adders, has sent us in this cartoon, inspired by Key’s answers in the patsy interview with the Herald on the weekend, which reminded us of those classic Bush-isms

Conferences are wasteful, unless you’re hosting

Written By: - Date published: 1:13 pm, February 26th, 2009 - 16 comments

Lyndon Hood does it again: The National Government has cancelled another conference, with Prime Minister John Key describing it as “a waste of public money at a critical time”. During a line-by-line review of spending by the department of Prime Minister and Cabinet, Mr Key discovered the so-called “Summit on Employment”, which was to be held […]

‘Iconic’ bailouts

Written By: - Date published: 11:34 am, February 26th, 2009 - 9 comments

Bailing out a company like Air New Zealand is one thing. It has a multiplier effect on the local economy in tourism marketing, air freight, and just having a airline that is interested in having routes in and out of NZ. Giving money to your mates because they are your mates… Well this is the […]

Judith Collins – nascent Minister of Embarrassment?

Written By: - Date published: 4:15 pm, February 23rd, 2009 - 6 comments

Should have seen it coming Judith Collins has been vying politically with Rodney Hide to become the NACT’s Minister of Embarrassment (and Comedy). This is creatively portrayed in today’s Mike Moreu cartoon, as he ties her last weirdo play for the kneejerk vote to her current one. For a background on this current Judith Collins […]

Do they know its credit crunch time?

Written By: - Date published: 8:22 am, February 15th, 2009 - 11 comments

Great video for the real victims of this recession, the ‘smartest men in the room’ who cocked everything up, the money-men. Bleed the World/ Let them know it’s credit crunch time

Fossil watch

Written By: - Date published: 1:16 pm, February 12th, 2009 - 25 comments

The hilarity continues. According to a person who was there, Douglas didn’t use his speech because it had been accidently leaked, and subsequently delivered on Youtube by a sockpuppet. The Herald, however, quoted from the speech as if he had given it. Turns out they didn’t bother sending a reporter. If a tree doesn’t fall […]

So that’s the plan

Written By: - Date published: 1:30 pm, February 2nd, 2009 - 41 comments

Well it may not have been particularly self-evident just what National have been doing since the election, but clearly John has some kind of plan. The TradeMe auction of Key’s arm cast, acquired after an inauspicious Chinese New Year trip, has begun. Worried perhaps that the auction might also fall flat on its face, John has […]

So what’s the plan again?

Written By: - Date published: 5:15 pm, February 1st, 2009 - 15 comments

Labour got a fair amount of mileage during the election campaign out of harassing National about its lack of distinct policy. I guess that’s kind of forgivable of National in some ways, for reasons we won’t go in to again. But now National are in Government I still can’t help thinking their policy direction is […]

John Key keeps disappearing into satire

Written By: - Date published: 7:47 am, January 29th, 2009 - 3 comments

Danyl at The Dim-Post has been indulging in his favored pastime again – satire. In this case Cabinet expresses concern over missing PM is about John Key going missing all of the time. Danyl compares him to a pooch avoiding something… Finance Minister Bill English has accepted responsibility for his leader’s absence. ‘I usually let […]

Let me say that again

Written By: - Date published: 3:10 pm, January 28th, 2009 - 7 comments

“It’s important that I get an Australian perspective on the unfolding international economic situation, particularly the impact of a slowdown in China and Asia,” Mr English said. It’s a little concerning that this is the man charged with avoiding redundancies.

BastardWatch

Written By: - Date published: 2:28 pm, January 26th, 2009 - 54 comments

After losing their last four seats in the Senate after Australia’s 2007 election, the Australian Democrats are trying hard to stay relevant and in the public eye. They see their fortunes resting on the party’s founding mantra to “keep the bastards honest”. So they’ve translated that term coined in 1980 by then leader Don Chip […]

Brownlee blowing smoke – or is it Coalfinger in disguise?

Written By: - Date published: 11:26 pm, January 21st, 2009 - 16 comments

Gerry Brownlee was puffing smoke this Wednesday morning about his daft (in terms of the Kyoto agreement) decision last month to remove the ban on thermal generation of power. It reminded me of something I’d seen recently, so I dug back through the mental archives. Eventually I re-discovered the mysterious coincidences between the decisions of […]

Climate change laffs

Written By: - Date published: 1:20 pm, January 15th, 2009 - 33 comments

A topic for the NACT talk-fest. Needs a slogan for success.

Written By: - Date published: 7:43 am, January 15th, 2009 - 13 comments

My favourite indicator for a deep recession is showing up. The applications and enrollments for colleges and graduate programs appears to be significantly up in the east, west, and south of the US and Canada. Probably something similar is happening here but we are unlikely to know until later this month. The reason that this […]

The Standard wager

Written By: - Date published: 2:38 pm, January 14th, 2009 - 23 comments

John Key has announced his ‘jobs summit’ at the end of Feburary saying “I don’t want this to be a talk fest, I want it to be a do-fest.” “Do-fest”, eh? Sounds sexy. Place your bets on which media commentator will be the first to enthusiastically adopt or warmly commend this latest meaningless piece of […]

Change of career for Campbell?

Written By: - Date published: 9:07 am, January 13th, 2009 - 4 comments

Is John Campbell leaving TV to pursue his childhood dream of being a pugilist? No, it’s diminutive Mexican boxer Julio Cesar Chavez. Uncanny resemblance though. (hattip: Hugo – googling himself apparently)

Serendipity, now with dinosaurs

Written By: - Date published: 6:11 am, January 13th, 2009 - Comments Off on Serendipity, now with dinosaurs

Pillow talk

Written By: - Date published: 6:57 am, January 5th, 2009 - 17 comments

I’ve been thinking about the concurrent crises we face – peak oil, climate change, and tightening food supply – how the limits to growth are starting to hit us and how, each reinforcing the other, they constitute the major challenges to our collective welfare in the years to come. I’ve been thinking about how we […]

No Xmas

Written By: - Date published: 8:50 am, December 25th, 2008 - 4 comments

And before anyone calls sour grapes I have to say even John deserves some xmas cheer but this was just too funny not to post today.

Now that’s more like it

Written By: - Date published: 9:34 am, December 22nd, 2008 - 17 comments

Screw Obama, my vote’s with the shoe thrower. Hat tip: onegoodmove

He’s a fan

Written By: - Date published: 12:18 pm, December 16th, 2008 - 2 comments

Just in: Coldplay to play at Vector Arena on March 18th. No word yet on whether John Key has managed to get tickets.