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7:02 pm, July 14th, 2026 - 13 comments
Categories: act, election 2026, nz first, uncategorized -
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Michael Laws and Paul Henry are planning a return to Parliament.
Laws as a potential New Zealand First MP and Henry as an Act MP.
And just what we need, two oversized ego blowhards who both peaked over 20 years ago wanting a return to their glory days even though they are both well passed it.
Laws’ previous history is hardly stellar. He left Parliament in a cloud following revelations that his parliamentary secretary had forged a signature in the name of a fictitious person to grant a government poll contract to a company part-owned by his wife. I am sure he had nothing to do with it.
He is opposed to “excessive government” “corporate wokery,” and “inefficient, expensive state programs” but thought that a prolonged campaign to remove the “h” from Whanganui when Mayor of that City was a good use of resources.
At different times he has served as a city councillor, a mayor, a district health board member and a regional councillor.
He also double dips as a shock jock on Sean Plunkett’s platform.
He once described the deceased King of Tonga as a “bloated, brown slug” and has suggested that someone should take a shotgun to a newsroom and clean out its journalists.
He is aged 69.
Henry has similar career. He stood for National in Waiarapa in 1999 and lost to Labour’s Gerogina Beyer by 3,000 votes. Onya Georgina.
Henry has extensive media experience where he appears to have blundered from one failed show to another.
He has been involved in all sorts of controversies including referring to Greenpeace’s Stephanie Mills facial hair, referring to homosexuals as “unnatural”, calling singer Susan Boyle “‘”retarded”, asking if Sir Anand Satyanand, was “even a New Zealander”. referring to Delhi’s chief minister Sheila Dikshit and then saying “it’s so appropriate, because she’s Indian, so she’d be dick-in-shit wouldn’t she, do you know what I mean? Walking along the street… it’s just so funny.” He also said about grants for asylum seekers “I mean if this is all about saving money you could broaden it out. Why not criminals? Not murderers, but low level criminals. You could – the jails could be smaller and you could put them in homestay situations. The mentally ill”. He also said that asylum seekers should “starve to death” following reports that they would be conducting a hunger strike.
He more recently served as a Board Member on TVNZ.
He is aged 65.
To this list of less than stellar wanna be politicians could also add to this list former Labour MPs Stuart Nash who is aged a more sprightly 58 and Shane Jones who is 66.
They have all shown a refined ability to say the most stuipd obnoxious things possible.
Can I urge Michael and Paul to reconsider? And Stuart and Shane do the same?
Our future Parliament should be full of the best and brightest of us.
People dedicated to mapping our climate changed compromised future.
People realising that the status quo is no longer an option and that we need to adapt and change.
People looking to the future and not the past.
People sufficiently intelligent to understand the science, or at least intelligent enough to realise they do not understand the science and should trust the opinion of those that do.
These guys show none of these traits.
The one good thing if Laws and Henry made it and National was returned to power would be to watch them fight about who is going to be the next Minister of Broadcasting.
But you can imagine what Public Broadcasting would look like if either of them held the reins.
Andrea Vance described Michael Laws and other NZ First candidates as “basically a doomscroll through the darkest, most aggrieved corners of the internet“.
She also said this:
It’s an algorithmic collection of outrage merchants, culture-war hobbyists, and men convinced Western society is on the brink of collapse, and they’re only one homemade podcast away from saving it.
She may as well have been talking about Paul Henry as well. And other current Act MPs and candidates.
Make sure your whanau are enrolled to vote.
Otherwise we may see Laws and Henry in Parliament from this November.
[Crone ie me, shakes at clouds] It's reins, reins dammit!
As we are now a century away from everyday use of horse power, the associated language analogies are mutating away from their base meanings. This misuse of reigns has caught my eye at least ten times in the last month.
[You are right innocent typo now corrected – MS]
I found Henry's reasons for standing at this late stage in the election cycle, and this late stage in his life, to be very, very weak.
Someone (Henry) is being paid a shitload of money out of the ACT war-chest to pull this marketing stunt.
Not even sure Seymour is a fan of this move, it seems like a board decision after overruling Seymour.
I hope Henry says something spectacularly stupid and ACT falls below 5%, it's the minimum of what they deserve.
Luxon doesn't need the job, Henry doesn't need the career. Who the f*ck do they think they are talking to with this braindead political egotism?
He brought to mind a word from my distant college years:
I hope a journo asks him what he was thinking. It would give him a chance to paraphrase his book (thus anchoring the journo to the spot for several hours). I presume ACT will promote him as the next minister of broadcasting. He's likely to be aiming state media at the shredder this evening – wishing upon a star…
Like I said here, this condescending buffoon has been brought in as a contractor to try lift the ACT party vote. He has no intention of delivering anything beyond that.
In other ACT party news Tim Jago, currently imprisoned for sexual abuse offences against minors has admitted further offences. And high profile lawyer Ian Brookie still represents him.
https://www.stuff.co.nz/nz-news/361006178/former-act-party-president-admits-another-sexual-abuse-charge
I wonder who is paying Ian Brookie?
What we are witnessing is all the usual suspects of the waning woodworms of boomer fringe merchants – with their armies of pompous phrases moving over the media landscape in search of new excuses for their bigotry – sensing in the rise of the likes of NZ First and in the weakness of Luxon and Hipkins a chance to wiggle out of the rotting timber of their indolence.
The main aim of these useless and listless chancers and edgelords is to have another three year feast at the expense of the public purse whilst basking in the media spotlight parliament's proximity to a gaping press gallery affords.
They are all the most dreadful people, babbling and bloviating like second rate understudies rushing onto the stage in a desperate attempt for relevance just as the main actors are clearing their voices for the final act of the play.
Jenna Lynch has done a better-than-most job of focusing on the real significance of Paul Henry standing.
The cussing character that may become the PM’s latest curse | Stuff
My pithier analysis:
Number of voters now switching from supporting an opposition party to supporting ACT: almost zero.
Number of voters now switching from National or NZF to ACT: not zero, but not many.
Chances of Paul Henry's big mouth stealing the day's campaign headlines in October, when (e.g.) Luxon has a big announcement and photo-op planned … very high.
Net result: opposition benefit.
The Spinoff’s Bulletin has some more on Henry’s highlights.
https://thespinoff.co.nz/the-bulletin/15-07-2026/paul-henry-is-running-for-parliament-and-could-be-a-bigger-problem-for-luxon-than-for-labour
It’s a sign of a truly representative democracy that even the nastiest sectors are represented in the candidate pool. Sadly my generation has produced a king tide of a**holes.
😬🤯
This pair will inform the voters what ACT & NZ First are really about more than a reading of their slick policy statements. They will damage their own parties but also damage confidence in democracy too.
"That's not enough, we need a majority."
The great intellectual and strategic planner (job to job flitterbug bored with cruising seeks an on land sinecure) Paul Henry says … (who cares).
He wants people to party vote ACT to sustain a National led government that he has little respect for.
Less voters will vote National every time he speaks (the NACT total will go down)
His purpose is to assist Seymour popularising a right wing drift to the government should they be re-elected.
That is make things worse – for the few not the many.
https://www.1news.co.nz/2026/07/15/no-john-key-paul-henry-says-luxon-not-being-genuine-nz-in-malaise/
ACT and NZF are following Trump's playbook, where 90% of his administration have been plucked from FOX tv pundits. You don't need to know what you are doing at all, just need to have a good headshot and string a sentence together.