Caption contest

71 comments on “Caption contest”

Comment numbers have changed to permanent references. Older quoted numbers may no longer identify the same comment.

1. 1

   “Who does she think she is? The Queen?”
2. 2

   Sitting between these two undesirables makes me constipated!
3. 3

   “If I can just pass this bill…”
4. 4

   “Oh Lord! I’ve laid down my koha too early!”

   (Apologies for crassness)
5. 5

   key:..it’s some pot-cookies i had in hawaii..

   ..they are finally coming through..

   [email look alike deleted].
6. 6

   ‘nice white-tie bro’…

   ..was the choice subliminal or deliberate..?’

   [email look alike deleted].
7. 7

   “..no..don’t look up yet..!

   ..hone is still eyeballing you..’

   [email look alike deleted].
8. 8

   oops I think that was a shart
9. 9

   Blubbing won’t help, John. Titewhai says you have to stay on the naughty step until you apologise.
10. 10

    I hope I’m not invited to lunch …
11. 11

    “Stranger danger.”
12. 12

    “I’m not scared, I’m not scared … eeeek!”
13. 13

    TEA-TIE TUGGER ROW: Shamed youth caught “red handed” by kuia: “Disgusting: he can smile and wave somewhere else” – Harawira.
    1. 13.1

       excellent!
14. 14

    1. “Waitangi? Yeah, Nah, I’m pretty relaxed about it.”

    2. “So, if I squeeze my legs together, thus, it hurts but feels nice at the same time.”
15. 15

    Breaking: Land thief caught red-handed.
16. 16

    See, they’re all being difficult, I had nothing to do with this… Honest!! Yeah right!!!
17. 17

    If I don;t go soon i’m going `to poop myself.
18. 18

    ‘why don’t you just go over there in the bush..?’

    [email look alike deleted].
19. 19

    key:..’i can’t stand up now..!..i’ve got a boner..!”

    [email look alike deleted].
20. 20

    “Yeah John, we figured you were going to try and run crying from here, that’s why we put superglue on your seat…”
    1. 20.1

       ROFL!!!!
21. 21

    Whose the elephant in the room?
22. 22

    ‘do you want me to remove that hone-speck from your eye..?…’

    [email look alike deleted].co.nz)
23. 23

    ” No I can’t sit on my hands and navel-gaze, I only took this job on so me and my rich mum and dad investor mates could get these assets into our investment portfolios. “
24. 24

    ” Whose the elephant in the room?” He’s not there, Horomia is at the Kai table getting in nice and early.
25. 25

    I visited NZ from Hawaii for this??? I’d be much happier watching my son plank or that Aniston woman jogging past my Hawaiian home than being in this place.
26. 26

    ” I think the woman on my left wants to give me an uppercut, I better avoid eye contact.”
27. 27

    Sam(?) : That woman has mushrooms growing out the back of her head
28. 28

    The natives back home in Hawaii are so much easier to deal with…
29. 29

    key:..’i’ll tell you what…the pot is much better in hawaii than these clapped out northland strains..eh..?..’

    [email look alike deleted].
30. 30

    (said to key..)

    ‘did you bring me back some of that killer-legal-bud from hawaii..bro..?..’

    [email look alike deleted].
31. 31

    JK – “What IS that hideous pong? Don’t say Gerry’s fallen into the hangi AGAIN?”
32. 32

    Hey, fella, you’d better move. Telling Titewhai that you were the real Hone was a bloody stupid idea.
33. 33

    Got… to… hold… this… fart… in…
34. 34

    Now John have you been saying your prayers to Satan? The new world order is just around the corner you know!
35. 35

    “I am sitting on my hands on many issues and hope no one is noticing that my fingers start to hurt”
36. 36

    (said to key..)

    ‘is it true that where you have your compound in hawaii they have legal-bud..?

    ..how can you be cool with that…?

    ..you live and stay there a lot…where people can legally purchase bud…

    ..and then when you come back here from your holidays ..

    ..you are planning to bust beneficiaries who may have had a toke..

    …because pot is so bad..?

    ..what’s with all that…?

    [email look alike deleted].
37. 37

    [Deleted. Too far. RL]
    1. 37.1

       way to lower the tone there..hobbit..

       ..just nasty..eh..?

       ..is that all ya got..?

       ..the nasty..?

       [email look alike deleted].
38. 38

    ‘Do you like all of my jewelery? made by Pakeha”
39. 39

    “Don’t be scared John – they’re only Maoris”
40. 40

    This family…and this woman gives me the shits…Oh…God…I just did
41. 41

    Am i the only one who finds it faintly odd that Hone Harawira despises National as the implacable enemy of Maori sovereignty and himself is effectively a parliamentary extension of his mother’s radicalism, and yet there she is sitting next to the Great White Satan as if it was all perfectly normal?
    1. 41.1

       Bored has the answer!
42. 42

    Not long know, I’ll be gone by lunch time…
43. 43

    Our Leader which art in absentia
    Brash be thy name
    Thy monetarist utopia come
    Thy asset sales be done
    On Waitangi as it is in Wellington

    Give us this day our daily bullshit
    And forgive us our fux pas’es
    As we sometimes forgive (but usually stab each other in the back)
    For thine is the Reserve Bank
    The Dollar and the Exchange Rate
    For ever and ever beyond the ken of mortal Kiwis

    Amen.
44. 44

    Ahhh!… So THAT’S the “Whenua” you guys keep talking about!”
45. 45

    “Don’t worry John, we don’t really eat white people!”
46. 46

    Oh God , will this never end ??
47. 47

    -PM appears in public with woman he left his wife for, and denies speculation she only wants his money.

    -Victims of water theft capture suspect and tie his hands to his chair, while woman with red gloves demonstrates how she will break his jaw.

    -Worst PM competition winner demonstrates attitude that secured victory.
48. 48

    My god they’re boring…….
49. 49

    Oh f–k how long do I have to put up with this?
50. 50

    Hmmmm, my shoes could really do with a shine.
51. 51

    mrs harawira:

    (thinks)..’should i have gone more lady gaga..?’…

    [email look alike deleted]
52. 52

    ms. harawira..

    (thinks..)..’prime ministers..they come..and they go..’

    [email look alike deleted].
53. 53

    ms . harawira..

    (thinks..)..’i really don’t like that white tie…’..

    [email look alike deleted].
54. 54

    ms. harawira..

    (thinks..)

    ‘i see your white tie..and i raise you with a red scarf and gloves..’

    [email look alike deleted].
55. 55

    ms.harawira..

    (thinks..)

    ‘i should have dug out the red fascinator..’

    [email look alike deleted].
56. 56

    I can;t hold this fart in much longer
57. 57

    I will hold my breath until you stop yelling at me
58. 58

    Hear no evil, Speak no evil, See no evil.
59. 59

    “Agreement>Water>Shares>Where do we sign?”
60. 60

    “Repeatedly selling my assets makes these unforgiving Maori Seats a real sore point”, bemoans New Zealand’s most famous rent boy.
61. 61

    Oh damn it’s trickling out of my trouser legs…
62. 62

    “Ok… this Jacket may be a little to small”
63. 63

    Whitetiekey Day
64. 64

    Key: “I’m so close to giving you bloody Maoris the middle finger and going home – to Hawaii. I don’t need this shit.”
65. 65

    “If I ever find the bastard that superglued me…”
66. 66

    Mrs Harawira stoically endures Key’s halitosis.
67. 67

    Hone: John, take off your pinstriped suit, your tie and your fancy shoes and beg my forgiveness on your knees.
    John: But I am the PM! You can’t be serious!
    Hone: You must learn to be humble! You can’t be humble in pinstripes!

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