Caption contest

70 comments on “Caption contest”

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1. 1

   Key too distracted by own reflection in a shiny surface to understand what’s going on, again.
   1. 1.1

      McCaw: “Fuck off, Key, I’m talking to someone important, here.”
2. 2

   I’ll trade you that shiney thing for what’s in my hand
3. 3

   It was all Bernard’s fault. Nothing to do with me!
4. 4

   No John, I will not trade the Cup for a place on the party list.
5. 5

   Ayo Bernard, tell that clown beside you to stop tickling my palm or i’m gonna ram this cup in his face !
6. 6

   Withdraw the paw John!
7. 7

   Man, I can’t wait until Richie gets married…
8. 8

   I’m smiling, I’m waving I’ve won! I’ve won! Doh!
9. 9

   Spot the politician.

   Two and a half men.

   Key cops a feel.

   Me too! Me too! Me too!
10. 10

    I have an email that says a Labour PM would have totally fucked this up.
    1. 10.1

       I have an email from a completely trustworthy source which I cannot reveal that says a Labour PM would have totally fucked this up way worse than me.

       🙂
       1. 10.1.1

          I have source all over my hand and can’t shake yours properly. Don’t ask me what source it is though… I’m the prime minster.
    2. 10.2

       Thanks God helen Clark is not here, or she would have jinxed the game and the French would have their first RWC title

       (Yes I know she was at the game – but not in any official capacity – But the curse of Clark is still evident and we were lucky for the positive luck of John Key to counter the Clark Curse)
       1. 10.2.1

          Next you’ll be saying that it is all because she once menstruated.

          I’m sure that all of that concentrated dislike of woman has simply rotted your brain to give that stupid Monty effect that we have all come to know and despise.
       2. 10.2.2

          If this is a serious argument for John Key then National are truly in dire straits.
       3. 10.2.3

          You do realize that the PM missed the end of the game because he was caught in a lift Monty? Perhaps he had to ask Helen Clark what happened.

          John Key = X2 Credit downgrades, Christchurch no build, budget blowouts, mass exodus, high unemployment, high youth suicide, lying in parliament, Pike River broken promises and the Rena disaster non-response etc… most incompetent and unluckiest PM ever!

          Helen Clark = Paintergate and different light bulbs. Looks like a jinx free zone to me.
          1. 10.2.3.1

             He said he saw the last 3 minutes from the floor of the stadium.
             1. 10.2.3.1.1

                Looks like they left ten minutes out… so Key missed around seven minutes at the end in his mad dash to do the three way hand shake and try to kiss the trotie!
11. 11

    1. Give all the All Blacks a hug.
    2. Give Richie a handshake
    3. Hold the cup aloft
    4. Get a photo with the hooker’s arm around me
    5. Get in the victory parades
    6. Knight Richie
    7. Get invited to Richie’s wedding
    8. Sit as close as I can to the front of the wedding venue
    9. Get another photo with Richie.
    10. Steal the first kiss.
    1. 11.1

       lol
    2. 11.2

       Be Godfather for the fisrt born child, Bronagh can knit some boottees.
       1. 11.2.1

          … be a Godfather? He has to be a believer first.
12. 12

    Can I hold the trotie?
    1. 12.1

       If you don’t let me hold the troatie I’ll perform my troat-slitting gesture in Parliament again!
       1. 12.1.1

          You misunderstand. Mr. Key was performing an abbreviated version of ‘Kapa O Pango’
13. 13

    I’d rather talk about the epiphany, the moment of clarity captured by the camera where my awareness expanded encompassing the universe and how in that instant of time everything also compacted into oneness within me, a wonderful contradiction that astounded and inflamed my senses and opened my mind to the reality of our existence, our reason for being.

    Yes Bishop John we know you just love talking about that stuff but what viewers really want to know is – how did you fuck up that handshake so bad, I mean come on, that was as bad as it gets – walk us through it.

    (excuse my indulgence) 🙂
    1. 13.1

       ^ Bwahahahaha! Yes, walk us through your Kling-on homeboy handshake 🙂
14. 14

    http://www.nzherald.co.nz/nz/news/article.cfm?c_id=1&objectid=10761453

    The Herald’s pathetic excuse for John Key’s handshake fumble is worth a read. Apparently John was “fully committed” to the handshake and couldn’t change his clumsiness lol
    1. 14.1

       Here’s stuffs short piece on it:
       http://www.stuff.co.nz/sport/rugby/5843753/Key-commits-World-Cup-handshake-faux-pas

       They’re got in their little ticker in the top-right, so hopefully it’ll be more visibility than if it just fell off the end of the top stories.
    2. 14.2

       http://www.stuff.co.nz/national/blogs/what-s-he-said/5847475/Our-embarrassing-uncle

       Right – second attempt with link. Andrea Vance has now put up an appropriately titled blog post on Stuff covering the “handshake” and previous “Key moments”.
       1. 14.2.1

          Almost an off-hand remark about the throat-slitting gesture that didn’t get much mainstream play at the time it actually happened.
15. 15

    Ritchie : who’s this fucker?
    McCaw : I thought he was with you.
16. 16

    “Même Sarkozy n’est-ce pas désespérée!”
17. 17

    Bugger!
18. 18

    Key grasping at McCaw’s paws.
19. 19

    Nothing beats using the secret reptilian Illuminati tri-shake in public while the peasants remain oblivious!
20. 20

    Key: “Pull my finger!”
    1. 20.1

       ^ Too funny.
21. 21

    “Paper… scissors… oh damn… protocol.”
22. 22

    In future will someone write a simple script for a simple PM to follow on such an occasion.
23. 23

    Mr Muddle muddles through.
24. 24

    By looking like an overeager fanboy about to shake hands with Richie McCaw Key has probably increased his preferred PM rating. There isn’t a Kiwi rugby fan in the world who isn’t thinking “fuck me, Key looks as excited as I feel, he really is one of us”.
    1. 24.1

       I think “kiwi rugby fans” aren’t actually as big a majority as they like to imagine themselves.
    2. 24.2

       Bullshit SHG.

       There are plenty of fans thinking “Get out of the way of the heros of the day you dickhead”.
    3. 24.3

       This Kiwi rugby fan saw a slimy politician who was so intent on getting his photo-op handshake in BEFORE McCaw lifted the cup, that he actually gate-crashed the other guys handshake, and wrestled two fingers out of his hand! (“Get the f*ck out of my way this is MY handshake bitch.”)

       Have you ever in your life seen somene gate-crash a handshake like that?! No doubt Nat fans will applaud his ‘endearing goofiness’, I say he’s a nasty grasping dung-hole.

       And this photo here… I mean… If this doesn’t say shameless photo-op junkie…

       https://www.facebook.com/pages/The-awkward-moment-when-John-Key-goes-in-for-a-3-way-handshake/307639129249733?sk=wall#!/photo.php?fbid=10150896321555475&set=o.307639129249733&type=1&theater
25. 25

    There isn’t a Kiwi rugby fan in the world who isn’t thinking “fuck me, Key looks as excited as I feel, he really is one of us”.

    Well i’m one Kiwi rugby fan who isn’t thinking that at all. I’m thinking, long after the dust settles and Richie’s raising of the cup goes down in history, as David Kirks holding the trophy aloft has, there will still be Key monging a handshake and embarassing ordinary NZers with his fuckwit glory seeking, media whoring antics.

    fuck what a loser !!!
26. 26

    Group hug guys?
27. 27

    Key goes for the handshake too early, a bit like The Standard’s post on the PREFU, eh 😉
28. 28

    John Kweewee!
29. 29

    Key goes for triple handshake — before he nails the triple downgrade.
30. 30

    One of these men is not like the other,
    One of these men just doesn’t belong.
31. 31

    Premature shakeulation…

    ewwww.
32. 32

    What we didn’t see just after the handshake
    1. 32.1

       Those two pictures of Key grabbing the cup say it all! Note that Bernard and Richie are looking directly at one another and not at Key.
33. 33

    “I’m hoping that post-referendum handshakes will have two less parties than this one.”
34. 34

    Guy at the back:: Key you wanker, what about the oil on the beaches?
35. 35

    Getting an early start as Minister of Innovation. Time saving tip #1 3 way handshake.
36. 36

    Monsieur Lop Asset meets the Chairmain of the RWC and All Black captain Richie McCaw.
37. 37

    Phew! Richie, I just caught your hand in time.

    I know you want to badly slap him. We all do.

    But, just try and keep your hand down, at least for now.
38. 38

    The Moment John Realised He’s Wasn’t Doing The “Secret Mason” Handshake
39. 39

    Colonel Klink look-a-like crashes rugby world cup victory party.
40. 40

    me myself and I.
41. 41

    Shake it..i’m feeling Good !!!
42. 42

    Pull the finger!!…. Pull the finger!!….
43. 43

    Key: “My precious trotie… give it to meeee!”

    McCaw: “Keep your dirty filthy hands off my trophy.”
44. 44

    “Slippery Huh! and he’s looking for a new job!”
45. 45

    Key: “ME TOO!!!”
46. 46

    Thoughts of National Campaign Manager, Steve Joyce, while watching this on TV: “Oh, Fuck Me !!!, Well, that’s 50,000 votes down the friggin drain, isn’t it !!! Jesus, Key, you are a Fucking Liability !!!”
47. 47

    Richie: (shuddering) “Why does this bloke reek of oil and rotting seabirds? I feel so *unclean*!!! It’ll take ages to wash that off!!!”

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