Caption contest

Written By: notices and features - Date published: - 44 comments
Categories: caption contest, john key - Tags: ,

44 comments on “Caption contest”

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  2. 2

    EYE CARUMBA! BLINDING PASH-IN: Gillard loses cornea in “Captain Beaky” nose mishap: “slipperiest lips I’ve ever not felt” Docs: lack of tongue involvement “fortunate due to forked nature”.

  9. 9

    New Zealand’s most popular Prime Minister EVER, kisses Australia’s most unpopular Prime Minister EVER. Julia wishes it was Helen though!

  15. 15

    John: “Now Julia, there’s no reason we can’t both be adult about this, it’s just a thing I’ve got. I’ve always had this deep, inner need to lick the nostrils of all foreign leaders and dignitaries, not just your’s.”

    1. 15.1

      John: “Julia, I want to slip my tongue in.”

      Julia: “Awww, get off the grass, ya bloody mongrel !”

      John: “But, Kevin Rudd let me ! In fact, he insisted !”

    1. 16.1

      Julia’s thoughts: “Awww Christ !, I don’t wanna kiss this mongrel, but I don’t wanna cause a diplomatic incident either. Awww Geez mate, I feel like I’m up Shit Creek in a barbed wire canoe !”

      * Australian pronunciation: “…I feel like I’m up Sheet Creek in a barbed woyer canoe !”

    1. 17.1

      John: “Julia, I’m horny, I’M HORNY !, the ladies – they adore me. What are my chances of sleeping with you tonight ?”

      Julia: “Awww Geez Mate, how can I put it ? About as likely as me sleeping with David Farrar, Joe Bloggs, Burt, Grumpy or Pete George !”

      John: “Oh Christ, you bitch !, you could have let me down gently !”

  19. 19

    “I always thought that Liz Hurley was hot but a bird in the hand is aksully even better, (though I could get you five lawyers that would tell you differently if I had too)”

  21. 21

    Julia: “Grrrh! What rotten mouth smell John’s got. How does his wife put up with this disgusting stench? I presume she never gets too close to his face and is glad he spends most time in Wellington.”

    John: “Well, if it was not for the cameras and required friendly etiquette, I would do all possible to not put my lips too close to this ugly, red-headed, read-hearted, socialist “pecker”. Thank god it is over right away.”

    Both afterwards: “NZ and Australia are bound together in their common and shared historic roots, values, spirit and loyalty in hard and trying times. We are looking forward to the RWC and a great game between our best in the finals.”

  22. 22

    Godddard To Key

    *sniff* I can smell asshole,hmm which one**sniff OMFG youre pregnant and its a hybrid of Crosby – Textor and Ashcroft so its the cheek bitch the cheek

  23. 23

    Thought processes:
    KEY: “Yeeeehhhaaaaa another photo op ARR ARRR i am KING OF NZ”
    GILLARD: “ocrapocrap he’s headin infor a kiss, escape routes? none, fucking media everywhere, turn head to the right ?? OHSHITOFUCK HE’S GONE THE SAME DIRECTION NO ESCAPE ONTHELIPSFUUUUCCKKK wheres my toothpaste/mouthwash/soap”

    1. 26.1

      Talking about a tongue, thank God Helen Clark wasn’t still PM said the mental Ocker bitch as I would now be tongueless
      Kissing a wimpish Key would be far safer,just ask Heather or Jude.

  27. 27

    The media thought I was trying to kiss ya, but acshully I just wanted to see who had the longest nose. Why did you move ya silly cow?

  32. 32

    Kiss of convinience, between two pretty faces. Bring back Rudd. Many think Kevin was difficult to work with, kept it within his inner group and did not advance the agenda, but he probably didn’t want to. In reality the the ALP is almost always led by its most right wing remotely sane member. Think Hawke, Keating, Hayden, Lantham and Beazley and Rudd is somewhat furthur to the right than Beazley. Still I like the bob and the bead.

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